No one's play thing

You know, it's funny, really funny
I watch as you take another one in.
I try not to laugh, but here I am giggling.
Maybe it's the insanity running through my veins
But I can't help it, and I just let it do what it wants.
Because at least when I laugh the pain is momentarily silenced.

Because I know, that they aren't special
At least, they aren't just yet.
You look so happy holding them tight
I wonder how long they have.
You say "They're perfect!"
I chuckle because perfect isn't attainable.

You just haven't seen their flaws
And once you do, I know you'll pick at them
You'll pick, and pick until you can't stand it anymore.
Then you'll start pushing, you'll start throwing
Because it's just what you do.

I can't say that I haven't lost any sleep
Because the fact is, I have
I have because of how much you have of me.
It makes me hate myself for it.
Why didn't I just leave, when I had the chance?
I guess, because I thought you would let me in.

I thought I was something special, was I wrong!
So, wrong that it makes me sick.
I cried, and let the broken pieces of my heart fall.
If you mean to make me heartless,
I guess you're on the right track.

I have dealt with this before,
And I won't wait for you.
Don't you know it?
I WON'T WAIT FOR YOU
No one is ever going to have enough of me for it.
You can't play like I wasn't your back up.

Because I know somewhere in your mind
You're so happy, because you know...
If this doesn't work out,
At least I have someone else that loves me.
At least I have someone else that cares twice as much.
I can't shut off or deny the fact.

But what I can do, is tell you to go else where.
I'm no one's play thing.