She was lost.
She no longer reconised the face staring at her in the broken glass.
Her voice seemed to be speaking a different language;
the language of lies.
They flowed from her tongue, like blood draining from a vein.
She answered in cryptic sentances;
which people never bothered to dissect.
She had also lost control.
Her impulses, not designed to hurt,
but to bleed.
To bleed deeper and deeper.
To let the blood flow from every angle.
To let the carpet that lined the floors to be stained crimson,
till red was the only colour her eyes could see.
No matter how much she lost,
one thing would always remain certain;
she put the razor to her skin
and it would bleed.
It didn't change,
it didn't turn against her,
it just bled.
At first it hurt.
Tears would pour.
At first the cuts would be small,
insignificant.
But to a certain point they'd still give her those few moments of clarity,
but it wasnt enough.
The harder she thrust the metal,
the longer the bittersweet numbing would stay.
Then one day it wouldn't stop bleeding.
She'd cut through the remaining sense she had,
slitting her safety in half.
Slicing through the space between insane and insecure
she stared at her stinging leg,
for that breif moment,
everything left her mind.
Only a sharp pain remained.
Then it all came rushing.
The blood spilt over her bed.
As her heart beat frantically,
trying the best to cover up the mess,
her thigh was still saturated in deep red liquid.
The notebook that lay on her bed;
open to that day's faliures,
filling three pages;
was now illedible,
the ink blurred into the blood.
Panic settled in around her.
Her breathing became fast and irregular.
Her head felt faint,
thoughts collided with each other.
Giving into the confusion and pain,
she lay in the bath of blood on her bed.
Her hair and clothes becoming drenched.
She closed her eyes and prayed for the aching in her leg to stop.
For the first time she begged for the void of emptiness to be filled;
but not with blood as she had done so many times before.
She wished she was stronger.
She wished she could resist the temptation of release that the blade withheld.
She wished that the razor's power would lift its hold over her.
But these wishes were lost,
they were drowned in her blood stained tears.
They were lost in the blur of thoughts she barely managed to string together.
They were lost in lies that her mouth allowed.
She was lost,
again
Author notes
ok...
well...
i actually like this poem...
A contest entry
- Your best work (Quickie). by jocelynclaire.
300 points, ended June 9, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness.....whatever...as dark as you can make it PW allowed by XXxXBassMeisterxXxX.
366 points, ended July 2, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The ribbon on my wrist says do not open before christmas. by Jaffa-.
500 points, ended December 25, 2008, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please comment and check out my other poems
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This was really beautifully put and so so sad. It was really amazing and i really liked it. Your in my finalists list. Thank you for the amazing write.
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wow i have felt exactly like this. It actually brought me to tears to read this b/c it has been a few months since i last cut but i beg to be strong enough each day to refuse to cut again. It's so hard. i live each day with the shadow of S.I. lingering over head
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Wow what I want to say has been basically said by the other readers, so beautifully sad. I like it, captures my pain
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You've captured my very soul in this piece...<3
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I love this. it was fantastic. so detailed. great work
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She'd cut through the remaining sense she had,
slitting her safety in half.
Omg beautiful. I have had the mispleasure of doing this before. I called 911 on myself. It was terrifying. You captured the bitter emotions so well. It was worded perfectly. You literally just captured it so perfectly i don't know how to explain it. Best of luck in my contest.
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I enjoyed reading through this, although it was so very sad. I really love your work and love your style. You remind me of when I was younger, I hope that this does not offend you. But I can really relate to all the hardships and pain I felt then, only I did not reveal my poetry to anyone, this is the one up you have got on me. Well done, my friend, I enjoyed this one.
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ow, I'm speechless...................
honestly, this is such a good poem!!!!!!!!! the upbuilding emotions are really beautiful, it really feels like I'm living the poem (that sounds weird, doesn't it? but I think you know what I mean)
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~~WOW~~!!
I LOVED IT! but it seemed so real! i could picture myself watching this happen! it almost made me cry you are an amazing writer keep it up!!!
~*~Jamie~*~
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mh
i dnt know how to comment im afraid that its real it reminds me of me or who i was i used to sit and think i told another lie today but its okay because i got through the day and my head was mess it ws nothing just empty and hollow and i didnt know why i cut myself watching the blood that blood covered it all and i felt in control of something , for once im afraid this is what you feel
it hurts
doesnt it
but thats okay , there is some days when im not okay and somedays im still fighting towards the light but you know it all works out in the end NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL TODAY
tommorow will dawn
you should know your not on your own
secrets are wall that keep you on your own
man im lame
sigh but its nice it uses simple words but its beautifull and in its own sweet bitter way its sincere.
i love you
xox me
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