My father left.
Was I bereft?
No way!
Great day!
Had he not flitted,
I knew I'd
Soon have committed
Parricide!
A contest entry
- but my dad never loved me. by iverbthenoun.
1000 points, ended July 2, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Wanna Know Your thoughts on: by Tazmanian Poet.
350 points, ended July 25, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ::*He Doesn't Know Where His Poppa Is*:: by SmokeFollowsBeauty.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abandoned and Disillusioned by Dancing Feather.
600 points, ended August 19, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Divorce by AaronGott.
475 points, ended February 5, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Like Passing Traffic...they had to go!!! by ListeningToSilence.
700 points, ended February 5, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why can't you be a Dad by bluecollarlove.
3500 points, ended May 10, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT THE TRUTH by Tempa Lee.
900 points, ended May 17, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - perspective by The Slant.
700 points, ended August 14, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1070 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please do not feel obliged to comment - and if you DO comment, please understand that it may be some time before I respond.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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ha this is fantastic! it's bitter, yet humorous. the snappy rhythm and almost sarcastic tone are a grand combination. thank you so much for entering. splendid!
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Thank you for your appreciation!
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nice and short. could have more emotion than that, but overall pretty good. best of luck.
~Tempa~ -
Simple and sweet. good luck
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Nice write. Thank you for your entry. Good luck in the contest.
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Very nicely done,in so few words! Good Job!
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Gone can be a good thing, the best view of many is the descending scale of departure...this has satirical bite, very nicely done in so few pungent words...PK
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An almost viciously humorous, crystalline poem; it's irregularly regular, and ambushes us with the length(s) of the lines and the rhymes. Great fun.
My mother went.
Did I lament?
Get lost!
I tossed
Her linen fetid
Right inside
The stove, committed
Mattress-cide!
I know - it doesn't quite work, but it's the best I could do at the end of a hard day at the office.
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Hi!
You are certainly a caution, Vera!
I'm eating an ice cream and typing with my other bad hand.
I threatened my ex with uxoricide. She said that as soon as she found out the word for killing your husband she was going to murder me in my sleep!
So here I sit eating an ice cream with one hand and typing with the other.
Could be a lot worse!
Hope you are well!
John
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Well, as of today 4.vi.2008)... apart from a digestive upset (my own fault, eating when I was overtired!) all is reasonably well healthwise...
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