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It's a wise child...

My father left.
Was I bereft?
No way!
Great day!
Had he not flitted,
I knew I'd
Soon have committed
Parricide!

A contest entry

Please do not feel obliged to comment - and if you DO comment, please understand that it may be some time before I respond.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • The Slant
    August 11

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    ha this is fantastic! it's bitter, yet humorous. the snappy rhythm and almost sarcastic tone are a grand combination. thank you so much for entering. splendid!

  • Tempa Lee
    May 17

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    nice and short. could have more emotion than that, but overall pretty good. best of luck.




    ~Tempa~

  • Simple and sweet. good luck


  • Dancing Feather gold member
    August 17, 2008

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    Nice write. Thank you for your entry. Good luck in the contest.


  • Tazmanian Poet
    July 21, 2008
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    Very nicely done,in so few words! Good Job!


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 5, 2008

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    Gone can be a good thing, the best view of many is the descending scale of departure...this has satirical bite, very nicely done in so few pungent words...PK


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    June 4, 2008
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    An almost viciously humorous, crystalline poem; it's irregularly regular, and ambushes us with the length(s) of the lines and the rhymes. Great fun.

    My mother went.
    Did I lament?
    Get lost!
    I tossed
    Her linen fetid
    Right inside
    The stove, committed
    Mattress-cide!

    I know - it doesn't quite work, but it's the best I could do at the end of a hard day at the office.


  • adios muchachos gold member
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hi!

    You are certainly a caution, Vera!
    I'm eating an ice cream and typing with my other bad hand.
    I threatened my ex with uxoricide. She said that as soon as she found out the word for killing your husband she was going to murder me in my sleep!
    So here I sit eating an ice cream with one hand and typing with the other.
    Could be a lot worse!
    Hope you are well!

    John

    • Vera Rich
      June 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, as of today 4.vi.2008)... apart from a digestive upset (my own fault, eating when I was overtired!) all is reasonably well healthwise...

1 - 10 of 10