My Beautiful Brave Mother...

Everyday is nothing but, stress.
That's life though.
I just wish I could get out of this mess.
I struggle just like everyone else day to day,
Trying to make the money stretch til the next time I get my pay.

To tell you the truth that's the least of my worries.
Right now I'm just trying to be strong for my kids and my Mom.
Because we all know there is something seriously wrong.
I try to be so brave and tell myself it's not that bad.
Who the hell do I think I'm fooling?

It's not like the other three times before.
It's really bad this time it's so different.
I see it eating her away taking all her strength.
I told her to fight like hell if she has it in her.
Then letting her know if she can't that's o.k.

Then I said with tears flowing down my cheeks.
When she has given it all that she can and feels she's ready to go,
That this may be the end of her journey.
That it's o.k. because to show someone that you truly love them is sometimes having to let them go.
And that yes it will hurt so much to see her slip away,but it will kill me inside to see her suffer more to be with us for one more day.

I will not say I'm giving up on her.
That is something I will ever say.
So as she takes her journey through cancer hell I sit here routing for her all the way.

I tell her no matter what happens I'll always love her.
That yes she may not have been perfect.
To be blunt who the hell is?
That I don't care about how perfect she is.
to me she was always the best mother.
I will always love her.

It doesn't matter if she's here on earth or Heavens bright shiny skies.
I will always love you.
You will always love me.
MY beautiful brave mother.