She has no name
a porcelain doll of a woman
stilled forever in a moment
before the breaking point
the shadows grace their pity to her.
Hidden away compelling emotions. you'll never see!
she becomes diaphanous dissipating like fragile clouds
stilled forever in a moment..
before the breaking point.
pale in death's gown:
lips fading a lovers red, to a sorrows pink,
See. You retched. FOOL!
see what you have done.
sundered and shattered.
to gather dust,
among the ghosts of cobwebs..
as she
a porcelain doll of a woman.
stilled forever in a moment
before the breaking point.
In her release golden hues exude their affection
for the first time of the last
she is embraced in love
in astral flight, she... is free
a porcelain doll
stilled forever in a moment
her body now the object of a material world...
she wears the clothes you buy..in frozen sensuality
locked behind glass all of you greed to be her beauty
a porcelain doll
stilled forever in a moment
before.. the breaking point.
Author notes
prompt/ inspiration: http://photobucket.com/image/polaroid/tamisko/polaroid/polar7.jpg?o=321
option 5 ?
this was so much fun to write oo i loved it it makes me all happy ^-^
oh and vocab:
Diaphanous: delicately hazy or sheer light or translucent
^-^
(special thanks to Omani...soorne)
- SoulfulBubbles
A contest entry
- Polaroid Quickie! by OnceUponAMind.
450 points, ended June 4, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Whatever. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - That was you? Omg I'm sorry ( For Everyone :] ) by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended June 24, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome Home, Vaseline Carmichael by onerios13.
6500 points, ended July 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - wake me up and let me know you're alive by Weetzie bat.
850 points, ended July 25, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything & prewites by whos my humblepie.
600 points, ended July 20, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poem You Have Ever Written by Cherokee.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by whispernthedark.
745 points, ended August 22, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Her] Naked Truth. by Dawliah.
590 points, ended September 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please? and thank you...
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This would make a pretty awsome song...I could just sing it now
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it is a song tho when i made the song i didnt sing it because i didnt really have any lessons or practice singing but i am working on that
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Loved it. No other words to explain. Good job!
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Congratulations on your prior gold win. I personally don't care for the repetition of porcelain doll, but this is a great poem. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Much better.
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I thought this was very intriguing, with strong emotions throughout...the only thing that really distracted was the dot dot dots...not a real fan of those, lol, and I really thought the piece was strong enough without them. But overall, very nice.
Thank you for entering.
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go rid of the dots
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lovely. lovely. that's all i can say thank you for entering my contest
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Brilliant as always
The moment i first read this I knew it needed to be a song. So happy we could make this beautiful music together.
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I liked this...and thought it was a nice piece, if you got rid of all the dot dot dots. It distracts from the poem, and I think that a more judicial use of the dots would do wonders.
Other than that, I enjoyed the fragility of the moments expressed. Thank you for entering. -
Incredible. This was exciting for me to read, my dear. You did amazing. If I can pull myself out of my writer's block, I would love to try and write a piece like this, but I doubt it will be done in time to submit it to the contest. Much love. 3 Happy people with their arms raised in the air for you. (oh I guess they are called applauds, huh? LOL)
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thank you,
and good luck on ur writers block
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i love it. it really caught my eye because i've been working on a poem called lady ceramica which is about a porcelain woman. so yeah when i finish you should read it. it's a very nice write and full of emotion. i love the pauses. makes it all the more real. ironic considering she feels as if she's not again i love it!
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Wow very interesting i like it alot its very very well written and worded so greatly. And plus you made the point that you were trying to make. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck. ..<3.. Shelly
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A very nice write. I loved the imagery and the repitition, it worked well. I also enjoyed your word usage, very creative and adds effect. Nice work and keep it up.
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Congrats on the gold my dear, you brought so much life to the hazy old polaroid! Great Job - keep up the good work AmBeR
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I love this...so much.
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A survior
Seems she is a survivor no matter. Breakable yes but still strong. Oh the anguish of love
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Omg this is definately my fav!!!!!!!!
It is so symbolic and holds so much meaning behind it!
It's empowering and inspiring!!!
Truly Amazing!!
And this is just the draft?!?!?! Holy Sh*t!!! {my bad}
But seriously I love this!!!
I give u friggen 100 applause!!!!!
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^-^ XD i am so happy to because in a strange way i feel like i really connected and clicked because it all flowed i dont care for much of my poems but this one i feel like i stepped outside of my self and in "her" and really got it right for once
hehe so happy and now i am dieing to preform this one so "she" can be even more alive heheh ^_^ XD
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Go for it!! This one has super potential!!!
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OMG... This... is so full of life! You really brought this girl to life here.. Great Job! I am loving the draft
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ehehe ^-^ thank you ! it was felt amazing to write it
XD so.. so happy
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