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severed roots

Missing image
Limited by our own knowledge, severed roots of bitter contempt
entertain the lies, transgression speaks to the wicked and bent
overlooked radiance, piercingly pure. the pervasive grace
by design, the journey's revealed, destinations await.

Unconscious ignorance and emotional deception.
broken promises are merely perception
indelible strength, an intrinsic nature
when hope lives there's something to treasure

The formless face of creation, clarity of sight.
a foundation of formulation is the light
crystalline intention, the wellspring of truth
this Purity defiled, severed at the roots

Severed roots of bitter contempt
transgression speaks to the wicked and bent
Unconscious ignorance and emotional deception.
broken promises are merely perception

Author notes

FAITHLESS

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • Jesann gold member
    November 22
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    A thought provoking write.
    I enjoyed reading this...seems it will have a timeless quality and appeal.
    With the meaning changing as peoples perceptions change.
    Excellent Work


  • isaacokumu gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    well written and a good read poem, i like it, good luck in the contest


  • Dragonbabyx3
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful work, I love the imagery, the the picture/movie is beautiful, life, at a standstill, yet busy all around. The last line is so credible, "Broken promises are merely perception" Everything is perception. What one percieves, is not exactly how another percieves. One of lifes little wacky things You did an excellent job on this piece! Good Luck and Thankyou for entering my contest!


  • poet2angels gold member
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written.
    Congrats on the well deserved spotlight!

    Lynda

  • amazingly brilliant


  • eastwind32
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    The way these words flow is impressive. Isn't that what makes a poem?

  • as i read your work and pondered, read the comments below , I have discovered that as much
    as every one raved about your Work, there will be those, that take offense to writes such as this,
    not me of course, but other who cant see the Artistic value of a beautiful Poem such as yours
    and will be Rude because of their own Views and opinions, someone that critics a poem should
    be able to not personalize their views and see the Value in the words that are written.

    and on that note, i do have to say that you wrote a very strong piece of Poetry, well Done! i will be stopping by more,

    Blessings

    Rend


    • teddybare gold member
      June 13
      Edit | Reply

      thank you Rend

      i realy don't mind critics ... it makes for great revisions sometimes .. i guess i'm happy that it stirs it up so to speak ... lol truth is i realy didnt phathom or absorb this till i go it all out of me.. lol..

      makes me happy no matter the comment ... lol your's was thought out and concidered .. i apreciate that and all these others too ... i will get on the ball here some time soon time permiting and catch up on returns

  • oh shit

    god you got 21 bloody comments....mmmm and one that is.mmmmmmmm shall we say out of order.
    what can i say..about this poem..well it's superb, profound...it doesn't need revision....you got the gift my mate....am i jealous.... nah....well maybe a little lol, maybe a lot, but we all need the big stars in the sky to see the little ones..i'm quite happy being a little star as long you big ones are there to guide us...keep cool brother and keep writing
    and keep shining...thanks


    • teddybare gold member
      June 14
      Edit | Reply

      thanks eric

      gotta love comments regardless i just realized that guys comment helps prove my point on "Unconscious ignorance" lol thanks for your read and comment ...
      ill catch up .. i know i will

  • Hey there, well had to drop by n visit the master did I not.
    I just been reading my origonal comment on this, way back one of the first of yours that I read.

    Its interesting now to read and comment again, with new perspective.

    The poetry is still as profoundly beautiful as ever,
    but yet now this appeals on a much deeper level for me.

    for me now, the opening line, limited by our own knowledge, just sums it all up, and well, the more of you I read, the less i feel limited
    so thankyou
    This is a well deserved spotlite, and a privelage to read
    I really mean that
    T

  • eliza - 44
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    it's a really good poem !!!!! how did you come up with such a good one???

  • bobtegner
    June 13

    Edit | Reply

    Sorry, keep trying-- don't give up!

    This effort, while undoubtedly cathartic in the writing (for the author,) is abstruse to the point of being utter nonsense. It panders to the intellectually delusional; a class of mental illness.

    Real writers eat hard criticism for breakfast; without milk.

    • In reply to bobtenger

      ya know, the first time I read this, I didn't entirely get the subject matter, got it completely wrong infact. But had to concede that despite MY ignorance the work was profoundly good, well crafted with carefully chosen language that created superb imagery.
      Furthermore , that the natural flow reflected the emotion behind the poem.
      These are in my opinion, the ingredients of high quality poetry.

      Recently with new interest I re read, and was blown away because now I understand it, a little better at least, its a learning curve, encouraged by a love of poetry.

      I do not consider myself to be intellectually delusioned, but rather enlightened,
      and refreshed.

      while I am sure the writer can take criticism, with or without milk,I would point out, that real critics give fair comments that are not hampered by their own personal thought patterns, or inability to grasp the subject matter.

      And that they understand that comments like mine are not personal, but prompted by a passion for the craft that brought us all here.

      To that end, welcome to ap , i look foreward very much to reading and commenting your work, which I am sure will be of a very high standard
      Thanks
      moonsail (T)


    • mcope8050
      June 13
      Edit | Reply

      ohhh please,,, you know a little about MENTAL ILLNESS do you? ummm,,, good luck with your treatment


    • teddybare gold member
      June 13
      Edit | Reply

      um ... ok?

      was that criticism?? lol sounded alot like a reaction to the subject matter... nice to wake and see this in the spotlight and to have a few comments on it all the same tho.. thank you for thr read

  • Excellent

    Beautifully written and constructed. Made for a great read. All in all niiiiice.


  • nymphetgal
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    really good..this is one i'd come back to..Words chosen were so beautiful..I love this.

  • you have earned a bookmark

    • teddybare gold member
      June 11
      Edit | Reply

      well alright

      .. ever read one of your own writes on the daily?

      well this one i do

  • lol, so its just me, n my bestist bud peter, who is keepin me compant today
    this is definately ure best work, i agree,
    i love ur deep stuff, bestist of all
    thanks
    t

  • unconscious ignorance...

    i luv this line because sometimes we are so unaware of our ignoance in life by the way love the moving picture


  • ajocean silver member
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    great piece thanks a million for sharing

  • wonderfully profound...truly enlightening...and enlightened..lol....this is bright...light...proof of your gifting...a brilliant offering, graceful and strong..amazingly rich...love love it

  • Touche! and Bravo! Now this is what I've come to expect of you!

    Seems you've scaled some mountains in your time

    Not religion alone, this country was still born.

    Fabulous my friend. Keep it up!


  • katyliz
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great flow.

    I love that it's sound is almost an illusion of rhyme. Barely there, yet present to create the needed flow word-to-word.

    Cheers!


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this one, I thought it summed up what a lot of people sometimes feel about their faith, and the way they sometimes cling to it ,maybe out of superstition,maybe it's just me., I particularly liked the second to last verse, last two lines, they kind of gave me an image of a dying bush in the wilderness, sort of like the one that Jonah sat under, until God killed it, really moving good write littlefishone


  • zillion
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice little picture. It goes well with the poem.


  • Velvet Rose Petals
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Totally love the title. Your word choice is magnificent. Promises are not meant to be broken, they are not suppose to be based on lies that a person can never achieve. This is why I don't make a promise I can't keep. I'm kinda inspired by this write though. Amazing. Pure Brilliance.
    Ros


  • Wolf Mancini
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Superb!

    You have a great command of words and where they belong.
    Excellent!!


    wolf


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful, the wording you have used here is great and this is such a good take on the prompt, well done and all the best for the contest.


  • cheaphotelsign
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fantastic! wow...i almost cried.lol felt this in my chest... love the repitition...you use that well in your writes...once again i dig what you do...alot


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww this is really really good huni,
    i love this sweetie, its just so great,
    you have such a wondeful way with words,
    keep penning, love yew!
    xxx kitty

1 - 35 of 35