I stumble, trip, and fall in the forest of my heart.
Such sorrows hang over me in a veil of shadows.
I rage through the thickets,
and I realize that I am dead.
I am nobody.
I attached myself to one for too long,
I am a parasite, slowly starting to be recognized.
One day, they will try to find a cure,
and that will be the end of me forever.
I shall be done with, and I shall become extinct.
I fall over the rocks,
the blood of my knees staining the rough granite crimson.
I pick myself up, and fall over again...repeatedly.
The shadows in my life -- they are no longer a part of the atmosphere.
They are a veil that I wear,
They follow me.
Soon in this damp, dark, coldness,
I reach a cliff filled with fog.
I realize how fragile I have been lately.
I realize I am glass, a mirror of what I have fed off of.
A mirror parasite.
A camera parasite.
I capture every image, every emotion, every feeling.
And all the darkness is what I have become.
Not who, but what.
The blood is drained, and I see my life flash before my eyes.
I see myself.
What started as a seed began to wilt--
died before it had even reached the ground.
Throughout this facade of my life,
There have only been clouds of heavy burden.
Thunderstorms are visible on my face.
My forehead frowns in bolts of lightning,
My eyes supply a fresh amount of rain.
The pierce of my scream finishes me off with the sound of high-pitched thunder.
The glass in the mirror breaks,
The camera's lens shatters.
And the parasite slowly lets herself fall.
Down into the cliff,
Down into the darkness,
Down into the fog.
And at the bottom, you hear her break.
A shattered failure.
Without the fruits of the future,
She has let herself go.
And the parasite is gone.
No more troubles for the rest.
And in that trench, a storm forever lies,
Although she is gone.
She lies at the bottom of the pit,
And she is once human, forevermore.
And the glass shards are clear in her skin.
The scarlet seeping out of her arms.
Tears are frozen on her face,
And there she lies, her horrific fire extinguished.
Revenge accomplished, she is finished,
But yet, she is a shattered failure.
Author notes
This was justa prompt, I felt the inspiration pumping through my veins, and I couldn't disappoint it.
"I am wonderful" <-- (Mandatory)
"Death" <-- (Mandatory)
A contest entry
- Dark! Love! Hate! Pen it! by darkhawk.
300 points, ended June 11, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Current mood swing: Depression by Never Fall in Love.
1300 points, ended June 19, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Saddest Feeling by emo001.
385 points, ended June 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 14 and Under Best Prewrites? by wonderbandalice.
600 points, ended June 14, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Return of the Darkwrite Challenge by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
400 points, ended June 13, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Break My Heart by XkatsuneX.
350 points, ended June 16, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark beauty by Maili Knephthan.
600 points, ended July 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - what makes you hurt by XxemohatexX.
360 points, ended June 27, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For The Nights I Cant Remember by etoile.
425 points, ended July 10, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lotsa points!!!! (extended time! I want as many entries as possible!) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
800 points, ended August 9, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold for Gold by echo-ink.
900 points, ended January 7, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is a wonderful piece.
I love it.
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-Rainbow. -
Enchanting write! I loved the story of a parasite. Very dark and eerie.
"Such sorrows hang over me in a veil of shadows."
I like the "veil of shadows" bit. Very original :]
"Thunderstorms are visible on my face.
My forehead frowns in a bolt of lightning,
My eyes supply a fresh amount of rain.
The pierce of my scream finishes it off with the sound of high-pitched thunder."
Magnificent description! I love your extreme detail in this piece. Well deserved trophies. ^_^
-Lily♥ -
great imagery and great write.
i dont really see how this relates to the prompt/ if you want to msg me and explain you'll have a better chance in the contest.
thanks for the entry and goodluck
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That was a lonnnng poem. Wow. It was good though. Good imagery. Good luck on the contest. But I need you to read the rules and do as I asked in them Thank you
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LOL I was skimming through contests and I FOUND YOU ON THE FIRST ENTRY! lol.
And PSHHH people are getting too lazy to read. xD
I shall enter too! >D -
sorryy to long next time ill put a lenght limit on it
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This was very well written I really like this alot you did a good job on this piece. I could see it in my mind. The imagery was well done. Thank you also for following my rules and putting "I am wonderful" in the AN. Thank you for sharing this great write I love it. Good Luck in my contest.
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Great piece, very descriptive!
Good luck in the contest!
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Dark...emotional....raw...excellent. Great entry.
Thanks for entering my challenge and good luck.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
"I pick myself, and fall over again" Did you mean I pick myself up? "And at the bottom, you hear her brake" it should be spelled 'break', if that's what you meant. There are a few errors, but other than that, I loved it. Great flow, word choice, everything. Fantastic.
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i loved it
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This is amazing. I love it!
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well done
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First of all, I'm curious - which of the options did you choose?
This came off as different to me. It sounded more like a prose with line breaks - in the tone and the way it was written, I'd have to say this is definitely a narrative. I have to say that I kept wanting to take a scissor through this - cutting out unnecessary words and the excessive pronouns. There were also some phrases that came across as cliché and I'd have liked to see something more inventive done with it.
Overall, though, I liked your idea and what you were going through - the stream of thought. I also thought that there were some really good phrases in this scattered over - with a bit of trimming and editing, this could really be good.
Let me know if you change it
Never.
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I used a bunch of quotes from the list.
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Amazing!
wow, this is truly amazing! This narrative poem expresses your view on life! it also expresses that raw emotion that brings out the true meaning of a poem. I really love the last stanza, it ties everything together nicely and really makes the whole poem great!
thanks for entering! best of luck to you! -
WoW! the emotion in this poem is unbelievable. I liked the use of "parasite". I'll definitely have to read some more of your pieces. Great write!
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