Jealous seas and,
Bitter oceans
I swam across the world,
To get my soul in motion
Docked my pride at high tide,
And rode the waves of space,
With time at my side
Fingering the pages of,
Earth and essence
Into what is skewed,
To bring about balance
Jealous seas and,
Oracle oceans
I swam across the world,
To get my soul in motion
Deep soul diving,
Surfacing what has sunken
Reclaiming stolen treasures,
From these masked misers
Scavengers of fortune
Finding the gold in the grime
Separate from nothing,
Not even time
Jealous seas and,
Organic oceans
I swam across the world,
To get my soul in motion
This woeful water like a,
Psychic surgeon
Washing me of whats been broken
Up and down my spine,
Following whatever I find
Separate from nothing,
Not even time
Jealous seas and,
Bitter oceans
I swam across the world,
To get my soul in motion
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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The longest journey....
starts with this poem...
It was a lubricant to restarting,
bitter can be good..
it shows awareness....
incentive to do it different,
and jealousy is often warranted,
both should run it's course..
But this piece was freedom from all that..
I felt you moving far away from negativity and taking control.
The second verse deserved a frame of it's own.
Reading your work is like being on a latter, every piece gets me higher.
Freakin loved this gypsy.
It's darkest
before the poem.
Lowell
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OMG...Amazing
I loved the ebb and flow and the beauty and pain of the piece. thank you so much for sharing. ~mandie~ -
Wow..all I can say is....GREAT!!!...LOLZ
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some parts are hard to read because of the background, but from what i could get out of it, it was nice. Very normal i guess. Nothing wowed me, but it didn't bore me either. However i did like your use of words and your flow of writing. And your repetition of one of the stanzas.
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The back ground is very nice and the rhythm and wording was very well done. I like the piece as it shows a great deal of emotion and as for my portal well I have no idea. Love I suppose is my portal. I have found that after all these years and walked through the portal to the arms of the man I wish to remain with. Great Job. Thank you so much for sharing this piece
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Very Good!
Many aspects that I like here: the background, the rhythm/rhyme, wording, content...
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I enjoyed the words that you used and the message that came across. The imagery was very well done as well. I really liked reading this. Great job!
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"Deep soul diving"
I really like that. This to me is a very humbling poem and you did a great job with it. As I was reading it I could feel myself humbling. -
NICE!!!!!!
The photo is perfect for your write. I am sooo partial to me under the sea pieces, have several myself on here. This is filled with adorable imagery. I love the title, and wouldn't change a single line!
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER WAY
. Rewarded 4
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"Jealous seas and,
Oracle oceans
I swam across the world,
To get my soul in motion"
That was my favorite part, so I'm glad that you repeated it a bazillion times.
Your depiction and imagery were so vivid. I felt like I was in the water or something.
Great write! -
absolutely amazing! reclaiming what you've lost within yourself takes courage. I love this piece
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I like the rythmn that flows through this piece, it chants and seems to surge, growing in strength and power. The emotions swell with the tide until freeing themselves, they burst forth into forward movement again. I like your work and will add you as a favorite
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weaving the waves
I like what you've done, weaving water and waves
a visit to your soul, to search how it behaves
loosely spiced ryhme, peppered up prose
white water write, your good....
and it shows.
rudolf
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Love it!
So, I am deeply fond of this poem. I love the human emotions that you granted to the water. Very creatively done! I like that you opened & closed with the same stanza - it wraps the poem up with a nifty little bow! Lovely!
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beautiful, This piece of poetry had lovely form and imagery. Its wonderful!
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Nice.
I like poems that have a watery, oceanic theme and this certainly does. I like the repetition, it lends a sense of gravitas to the write. The idea of swimming across the World to get ones "soul in motion" speaks to me of long journeys and of seeking and finding. I also like the way in which the oceans mentioned in the poem change shape and form. They go from being "jealous and bitter" to "jealous and oracle" through "jealous and organic" and back again to "jealous and bitter". Its evocative, very evocative.
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I like this one!
It's fascinating! I've never been one for oceans or seas, or even lakes, but this piece is so intriguing, as to your weaving of the theme of yourself and the ocean/sea. Truly, I'm in awe. This is a great piece!
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