Weary judges checked at door
knives, handguns, aspirin
all confiscated,
strait-jackets passed around;
instructions printed in extra large letters
left-aligned, black font on white wall.
Strong reading glasses handed out,
even though rules can’t be read
with filler words missing,
looks like gibberish,
blurry, too.
Soothing nurses hand out Prozac,
mutiny is a danger in this group;
cd’s play poetry by Robert Frost,
blank spots skipping over forbidden words.
Trista, Ryan, Islekine, Jamie,
Neon, Aboomer
are slowly, cautiously approached;
all computers, pens, pencils, note pads
hidden from sight; false security induced.
First hour goes well;
entries will be introduced
one at a time
until hostages adjust;
then Bear will visit
offering candy, lemonade,
certificates for vacations.
PO contests will continue,
rehab for judges.....now a new rule.
Author notes
PO Contest Judges Only
Theme: Rehab for judges
Ok....I don't think I used any filler words...LOL....any suggestions for greater impact graciously accepted.
A contest entry
- Current PO' Contest Judges ONLY! by Arkbear.
1750 points, ended June 21, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 57 of 57
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Hilarious!!! Love this. Especially certificates for free vacations...
As a very part time POW judge, I can relate!
Suggestion for this:
"Soothing nurses hand out Prozac,"
"Soothing nurses distribute Prozac
in small medicine cups, your choice -
cranberry, apple, orange juice..."
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Thank you 'Joyce' for commenting on this - I am pleased you enjoyed it. (it was not appreciated, as you can tell by this placing 'last'.....lolol)
I like your suggestions - thanks.
blessings
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OMG thats hysterical
thats gold material
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Thank you Darkwell! Glad you enjoyed '..rehab''....I kind of thought it was gold, too - or at least silver....
....lol....sheesh, ya' never know what those judges are going to like or say! 
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its ok its gonna be ok
those meanies 
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lol -
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wow..Fabulous imagery..can picture everything..and all with a sense of humor...absolutely delightful..no wonder you won a trophy..thanx so much for sharing Lady Ab..blessings..namaste..
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Thank you so much 'vici377' - so pleased you enjoyed this. Even thought it didn't take a top trophy, I had fun with this one...LOLOL
blessings
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Very Creative
I liked this poem and it made me laugh. I loved how it flowed
Very nice as always -
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Thank you so much 'MorganTea'...glad this made you laugh.
By the time we get through judging those contests, we all need PO Rehab!!...lololol
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Creative prose!
Like how you descibe and act. Your tongue in cheek humor works well with this piece.
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Thank you so much Amazira! This was written after judging a long, somewhat difficult contest - as soon as that was done, this contest popped up for us judges!
Needless to say, my frame of mind was 'frazzled'....lol
So pleased you enjoyed.
blessings
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Hi there :)
*glasses handed out*......*nurses hand out*.......Never repeat if at all possible ~
mutiny ( is ) a danger...oops!
Ok....you have managed to kick-start this contest with Impact and lasting Impression......and I'm wearing a smile ear-to-ear,
....well done!
*even though rules can't be read with filler words missing*.....that lines takes me too long to read.....get to the point quicker next time and keep it in poetic tone as well ~
*filler words*...*forbidden words*....ne repeating boomer :)
*slowly.....cautiously*????.....are these words working off of each other?.....or do they compliment the next?.....I believe, IMHO, use one or the other ~
*introduced*.......*induced*........could you not think of another word, as both are to impliment into ~
*entries will be introduced one at a time until hostages adjust*......another run-on line ~
*then Bear will visit*..........take out *then*.....as we already know Bear is going to do something by your statement of what he does ~
.....and, IMHO, judges should be Capped, since you have used this word as a direct noun, and not a verb ~
Some may disagree with me, but this is the way I was taught.....no deductions there.....this time :)
Alright.......wonderful Flow....great Tone throughout and tons of Imagery to take me right there as you penned this delightful piece of Art :)
Each Stanza brought me something to ponder.........and you kept true to your Theme with terrific Focus ~
I wish you the best and God bless you!
Bear ~
Title Too predictable -
Flow Great job -
Depth Lots of fun reading this -
Theme Perfect -
Feelings A tad weak for personal feelings, yet lots of visionary emotions going on -
Grammar Already pointd out -
Presentation Nice.....with the exception of a couple of run-on lines --
Uncommonness Original and funny as heck -
Sit & Ponder Affect Each stanza brought newness to the write -
Ability to follow Rules One filler word -
Bears Score: Over-all a fantastic write!
Good luck and God bless you!
:)
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Hello Aboomer. This is really good, I do like that you have seen the funnier side of the rules in the contest and exposed them by taking them to an extreme. To have a laugh and still make a valid point, excellent.
My regards.
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Thank you so much 'Ace...' for reading, your lovely comment and the clappies. I appreciate it and am pleased you enjoyed this bit of 'humor'...LOL...
blessings
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I love this so much.. I laughed all the way through this..so this is what happens to the judges and where you guys go... even though I wasn't ever a judge in the PO contests, I could definitely see why you are there. the stuff that you go through with these contests.. OMG I was laughing my butt off. excellent job... I hope that he likes this, I bet he will. the tongue in cheek is outstanding.
good luck in the contest
though I believe that you will do quite well Gramma Groovey.. Filter words, I am still learning which ones they are... keep reading it over and over.. remember no touching your work once the judge has critiqued it ok??
Love you lots
kat'
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Thanks so much!!!! So glad I made you laugh - even though at times, I can ASSURE you, we don't laugh!!!
He hasn't critiqued yet....lol...I'd love to edit in about the sheep we count when we are trying to sleep - they all recite those no-no words!!
...LOLOLOL....but, I only have 20 lines!
Maybe later I'll add that in
blessings
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THAT"S WHY I DON'T ENTER
YOur verse had me LMAO! Sometimes the truth is funnier than fantasy. I didn't know the rules Bear had given you, but you tongue in cheek played with him! Oh so funny! LOve it NOT when he says white background, black print, no filler words! HAHA
Linda
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Thank you so much Linda!! Glad this made you laugh - we all need laughter!! I had a horrible time getting that white background....lol...computer illiterate! And I could read and re-read my entries - and STILL miss those stupid filler words!!...
blessings
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Nobody is confiscating MY knife and handgun!!!
lol
Perfect!!
instructions printed in extra large letters
left-aligned, black font on white wall.
...brilliant!! and hysterical....
then Bear will visit
offering candy, lemonade,
certificates for vacations.
too funny! Oh Lord did I NEED that laugh! This is seriously awesome...you rock and so does this poem! LOVE it! Good Luck in the contest!
Jamie
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LOL - ok settle down....you can keep your 'weapons'. thank you so much for that wonderful comment! I appreciate it, and am so glad you enjoyed this.
blessings
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ROTFLMAO It hurts lol
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I agree!
Love the changes...and the new rule!!!! -
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Thank you Julietoo!!!....now, if we didn't have that RULE limiting lines (lol), I could state that rehab HAS TO BE in Hawaii at your place.....wouldn't we have a blast tossing filler words as sacrifices to the goddess Pele!!!...LOLOLOL..
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You are all cordially invited....
please bring a tent, or other camping gear!!
We have Tee-pee's town the road.....a retreat of sorts...
you can stay there as well....
We'll get a pig and the imu ready ........RSVP...PLEASE....so I know how much poi to order!!
A hui hou ka kou!
Malama Pono...
*PEACE*
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Yes! I love the revisions, and your ending is priceless!
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So glad you approve!
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Lol, I imagined you judges hanging out in the cafe or something but in rehab? That's unexpected
Made me laugh on how the rules were written here with humor
Haha, good luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much 'PatheticKt' for reading, your wonderful comment and clappies. I appreciate it and am so pleased you enjoyed this.
Trust me - we NEED strait-jackets and rehab!!!
blessings
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Classic lol..... too true , those blimming PO contests ....good luck hun
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Thank you so much Rob!
Am pleased you enjoyed this! (did have to run in and edit a bit this morning...LOL)
Can't wait to see your next entry!!
blessings
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ROFL
Rules: do not use the letter "the"
*person uses "the" 20 times in poem*
ah makes me crack up every time
Good write, I was laughing the whole time
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Thank you so much 'triste elle' for reading and your lovely comment and clappies on 'PO Rehab'. I appreciate it and am very pleased you enjoyed this. (I did have to come in and EDIT a bit this morning...lol).
Yup - when I read those poems with 20 broken rules in 8 lines, my eyes roll.......I liked it better when I could go in and offer 'gentle' warnings...hahaha
Sure was happy to see the creative writes in the last contest, though - yours was well-worthy of a trophy. Can't wait to see what you write next!
blessings
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fabulous!!! I think I've been to that place, aren't the drugs nice?!?! Honestly, this had my laughing out loud! Hilarious! I think the entries from the last PO should be allowed to judge the judges! lol You'd get the gold from me!
Kathryn -
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Thank you so much Kathryn for reading and your lovely comment. I appreciate it and am pleased you enjoyed this. And I thank you SO MUCH for your offer of Gold...lol..(I'm sure glad all of your entries were in my top 3)
blessings
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Oh gosh may I join you
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Sure can!!! What are you after - the candy? or the vacation certificates????....LOL
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All of the above
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HEHEHE.. that's hysterical!! I certainly don't envy the job of you judges.. I wouldn't be able to do it!!
Very cute!
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Thank you so much 'kiwi'.! I am glad this made you laugh. My muse is wiped out! Her eyes are still blurry...lol...
It is very, very time consuming - especially counting all the broken rules and filler words...hahaha.....and re-reading each entry at least 7-8 times for flow, wording, impact etc. and then trying to make a fair and honest assessment for scoring. I prob. put at least a minimum of 6 hours into it to do the best I can - and then hope I don't hurt anyones feelings. While doing that, it is totally consuming!
blessings
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
funny stuff here
GReat JOB!!!
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Thank you Ryan! So glad you enjoyed this! As you can tell, my muse was really wiped out....lol...and I still had to edit out 2 of the 'filler words'!...Now, I need to edit again, per Trista's suggestions....lol....should have done a write on my visit to the psych's office! hahaha....but this is what came out when I started typing.
Thanks again! Any suggestions?
blessings and best wishes to you
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LOL...You have summed up the PO's beautifully...this had me grinning all the way through. A fabtastic write hunni, and to echo trista well worth its weight in gold. Excellent theme..lol. Good luck hunni
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Thank you so much 'LadyD'.! So glad you enjoyed this! Hopefully, it will get me banned from judging...LOL.....
No really, as YOU know, it is very time-consuming. I was going to write on a visit to the psych's office - but this is what came out when I started typing!...LOL
blessings
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Gosh, of all the ones I've read, this has got to be my favorite entry so far! Oh...wait...this is the ONLY entry I've read, silly me.
Geez...I might as well give up now, this is worth its weight in gold a hundred times over! And I don't honestly know how much a poem weighs, but my brain...after the last PO...says they are very, very heavy.
I loved this, honestly, and can't think of a funnier or more perfect poem to enter in the contest. My favorite is the black font on white wall. Oh, and if anyone can show me this is a theme that's already been done, I'll give them a big handful of my hard-earned AP points. lol
Okay...putting my official critiquing glasses on now...the only area you might want to look at is second to last part. It seems like there's a conflict in the tenses of words? I'm wondering if it shouldn't be, "First hour (goes) well/entries (are introduced) etc.? Also check the punctuation at the end of that stanza.
Might want to ask Neon about the word tenses though; she seems to be really good at that part and I'm not 100%. 
Good luck in the contest, but I have to agree with my co-judge...this is gold so far.
s
~Julie
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Thank you so much Trista! So glad this gave you a good laugh - we all need one, right???
The black font on the white wall - I forgot to say lst lines couldn't be capped!!! Prob. forgot a few other rules in this, too....
I will try and get back later and EDIT again per your suggestions - thanks. I wasn't real happy with my ending, but only had 2 lines left (actually had to cut 2 lines on our mutiny to get 2 lines for ending!...LOL) - maybe you have an idea for the ending?
Hope to see you do one just using the filler words - oh, and be sure to cap them and mis-spell them....LOLOLOLOL
blessings
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Mutiny???
Oh, how I'd love to see that! (In the poem of course, not for real...relax Bear sweetie. ) Humm….any way you could squeeze the mutiny in at the end, or even a hint of one to come? Just an idea…one I almost hate to suggest [why mess with perfection].
Got to run and try working on my own poem…I see I am probably going to be the last to enter this crazy contest. Lol
s
~J.
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The only way you could get greater "impact" is if you were allowed to post that picture of me in a straight jacket, beating my head against that great, white, wall! This write is priceless!!
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Thank you so much Neon!!! I've GOT to see that picture of you!! That would be perfect framed with this for a xmas gift...LOLOLOL
So glad this made you laugh - we NEED those laughs, right??? Can't wait to read yours!
Whee - isn't this fun??? I LIKE this contest..
blessings and best wishes to you.
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LOL!!!LOL!!! This is a RIOT!!! I love it so much! You silly girl...LOL! Best of luck!
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Thank you so much Az!!
Glad you enjoyed - and got a laugh out of it....
blessings
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omg, aboomer! I was laughing so HARD through this whole thing! You have such a GREAT ability to make people laugh with your poems, which I think is wonderful! Thanks for the invite to read! I think this is worthy of a gold too! It was a great contest though, and I can see I am not equal to some of the greatest, need to step up a bit! Thanks again!!!
faith
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Thank you so much 'faithwhisperer' for your wonderful comment. I so appreciate it and am really pleased I made you laugh. My 'muse' goes into these 'impish' modes when she is deprived of sleep!...lol...and I absolutely can't control her at all when she's in 'that mood'...
We did have some good entries this time - I was so happy to see some creative writes!! Made it really, really hard to judge though. Can't wait to read your next entry (I should be through rehab by then...lol)
blessings
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I so love it!
Well penned! Best wishes in the contest...
I don't see any of those nasty filler words! Good job with the rules....Theme is appropriate for the contest.....lol
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Thank you so much fellow judge!!
I think I see 2 of "those" words!!! I'll have to EDIT!!!...LOL....I'm going back to rehab...I didn't learn anything...
...LOL
best wishes to you also. -
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Okay...see????
I told you that's why I didn't even try to catch up and judge POM...wouldn't have been fair! I can't even catch mistakes on your entry!!....BTW...This is a contest for judges...so if I'm a judge....should you be allowed to edit once I comment??? LOL
Best of luck...Gold so far.....
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You didn't catch the mistakes because you are 'out of practice' from taking vacation!!!
We aren't judging this....lol....so we can 'warn' each other......and edit!!
Gold so far....LOLOLOL
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