My throat is bleeding
from the inside out
What am I needing?
thats not in this shout
Nails gripping flesh
leaving purple moons
Blood dripping fresh
like wailing tunes
Now you can see it
you can see my hurt
Hurting more than a bit
pain making me so alert
You see me dressed in black
then you point and stare
I tell you to take it back
you tell me to jump into air
Guess what today I'm being good
and I'm listening to you
Just like a good girl should
I jumped
A contest entry
- Darkness.....whatever...as dark as you can make it PW allowed by XXxXBassMeisterxXxX.
366 points, ended July 2, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Great one. The ending kinda threw me off a bit, though. It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the piece. It almost seems unfinshed to me, because every other stanza except the last one has four lines, and the last one only has three. Otherwise, great write.
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I like it. It was a great read. The only thing i didn't quite like was the ending. It was too happy for my style. The speaker should have ended up dead or something it would have been more dramatic.Great write overall though.
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Lots of Pain in this poem... I sense a lot of emotion in this poem. Good write...
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