I think my mind got lost in the airwaves,
She said
There’s a broken pen in her hand,
A gun to her head
Thousands of papers blanket
That old wooden floor
All her crippled emotions,
Just a ghost from before
While outside her window,
An owl searches the sky
For the ivory moon
Who whispers goodbye,
And now she’s losing her hope
For the world is as dark
As this noose on her soul
As the ash in her heart
And in the empty spaces,
Her concerto plays on,
Reaching its crescendo,
As the girl meets the dawn
She falls to the earth
With a taste of Death’s kiss
And all they find are bloody letters
Tattooed on her lips
With a broken heart in her hand,
And an escape in her head
I think my mind got lost in the airwaves,
She'd said
A contest entry
- I'm not good at much, but I'm great at listening. by Sin Aesthetic.
600 points, ended June 21, 2008, 50 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Amazing poem
The emotions were penned very well
And the pic at the top gave added to it as well
Wonderful work -
Brilliant job. I just loved it. It was beautiful to me. I especially loved the picture. =) You are very talented. I hope to read more from you. Keep on writing till you can't no more!
xXDCXx
~Make Peace, Not War~
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This is an amazing poem. It tells of the hurt that we feel. the way we think when everything has gone wrong. its a beautiful write
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Awesome.. It was perfect. It has inspired me to pick up my pen again. I loved the use of similies and metaphors. It aws perfect for my moomd. I admire the dark aspect(hence i asked for it in my contest) very well done.
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you deffinetly have a way of words. everything from the begining to the end was perfectly written.
-angg -
Wow
Awesomely rad poem
i love it
its different
xxx--<3--
Shelly -
Awesome poem!
This is one beautiful creation. Greatly emotionally tuned. LOVED IT!
"While outside her window,
An owl searches the sky
For the ivory moon
Who whispers goodbye," -- Genius!
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this is an unbelievable *experience* bria. your words are so vivid, and a world of their own, and unlike anything else. "an owl searches the sky/for the ivory moon/whoo whispers goodbye." "all they find are bloody letters/tattooed on her lips."
you are such a poet, and such a friend. i love you always!!!
zach
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Wow :]
This is ahmazinnng. Holy shit Brialicious. It was definitely a darker one, but I could just picture everything as I read this one. The words you used were so descriptive and the metaphors or I don't freaking know whatever the hell its called haha was just incredible.
"And now she’s losing her hope
For the world is as dark
As this noose on her soul
As the ash in her heart"
Ahhh<333 Those lines stood out to me so freaking much. Especially the last one. Perfect
Forizzle.
"She falls to the earth
With a taste of Death’s kiss
And all they find are bloody letters
Tattooed on her lips"
Oh.Em.Gee. No, I lied, haha these are my favvves too. It's a tie. I just wow. Words can't even describe how powerful those were. I also loved the repetition of the first line at the end and how it was changed a little.
Your poems are getting better and betterrr
<3333
I love youuu bff
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WOAH. wow!!!! how amazing. totally freaky picture that made
"And all they find are bloody letters
Tattooed on her lips"..... wow you can make some awesome lines.. poetry is amazing and youve totally shown it here.
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