The teddy bear
in the corner
sitting over there
The toy that once made her
laugh and smile
is splayed across a chair
She nevers looks
she doesn't touch
the teddy bear at all
She hangs out with friends
goes to school
goes shopping at the mall
The teddy bear has given up,
has stayed there and is rotten
He's just another thing in life
Unloved and forgotten.
Does it flow okay?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
This is such a sad poem *runs upstairs to get teddybear and gives him a big hug* Teddy says that he wants to meet this Teddy bear so that they can be freinds!!!! The flow is great! This kind of reminds me of Toy Story...when Jessie was abandoned by her owner when she grew up. I really like the last stanza. Great job!
-
awwwwwwwww! I love it too. I'm not getting depressed, although it is ver sad, and cute. Could this be Kate Barkers' teddy bear ey? naw, that makes the story less depressing. Nice job, overall, I love it!
-
awwwwwww!!!!
this is so saaaad! make a happy ending. 
i love happy endings. or are sad endings part of the contest??? wahahaaaa...i once wrote a poem like this, it was an old one, and it was happy!!! s some more 
excellent rhyming, it flows fine.
-
-
What contest?
And I'm sorry it made you cry so much! But it was kind of supposed to. And thanks for the nice comment
-
-
(Forgot da applause)
-
Aww
This is good but sad. Metaphor maybe?
-
-
ya a little bit
-
-
Awwww this depresses me Katie
It's good though -
-
haha i only posted it literally a second ago but thanks
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
