the best strawberries
pockets full-
and I had a hard
time keeping up
with you,
discombobulated all
over the field
"joshua did
you see that?"
you were so
much bigger, long
legs stretching
over the little
purple weed-flowers
that I picked
up and put
in my hair.
josh'wa you're
so crazy.
the lazy pigeons
didn't move
when I ran right
through
them. they're usually
rambunctious so
I know this
isn't real.
the field
grows much
smaller and
condensed and
I have to squint
just to see
you.
it is magic
and already
the tears are
starting
to fall
as I call
your name
louder.
"joshua" did
you see that?
but you
duck your
shy smiling
head and
say "see you
later baby".
and still
they are the
best strawberries
I have ever
tasted.
Author notes
R.I.P
In a list
A contest entry
- prose or poem. by iverbthenoun.
300 points, ended June 29, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Awesome job on winning that gold. This deserved gold.
I really liked this whole thing. Your imagery was great and the sorm was creative. Thanks so much for sharing.
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This is really genius. The flow is perfect and just the entire imagery is great. It kind of gives me the same feeling that I get from the dream scene(s) in Requiem for a Dream. This all fits perfectly together and the ending is perfect. It would really hurt to have one of those dreams I suppose, but it turned into a wonderful piece of art
Jeanette*~
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This is an absolutely gorgeous piece of work. I hope it wins the gold.
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wow... i LOVE this. seriously thanks a lot for entering
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i loved this piece... memories flood you sometimes... from dreams... from the back of your brain that you were sure didnt store anything... and then you bang them out... this one was a pretty big bang... i enjoyed it and sucked it like i would a strawberry... biting only enough to let the juice flow... great piece ... again..
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god i fucking love this. seriously, this is one of the best emotional poems i have read in a long time.
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thanks so much. I'm glad you like it.
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i want to know about this.
i like it. -
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I haven't been able to write much lately, and I was hoping to god it wasn't writer's block. But then I had one of those dreams that's really a memory you had with someone no longer living and then I got inspired.
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this makes me want more... love, lane
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thank you.
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