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Echoes of Yesterday

Who will remember when lush summer lips
begged blossom from a seed?

Poets and promises weep to keep such things.

In harms harbor far from noise of city
the fog has closed the sky and
muffled my memories.

Caught against a rock, sun spent, they will fade 

until last wind coats the ground with their dust.


Even the sea has gathered oil and twirled
some forbidden coffee spoon into life.

I tried to capture them real within

my morning window, for they left within

a place empty, warm, and wounded... still. 







 

Author notes

A contest entry for: passing seasons
speak to us of time...

Rules:
- Free verse only
- 75 to 90 words max.
- Left align & plain background
- Apply poetic device

Art: Evidence of Time by Brad Kim.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Nicolette gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    “poets and promises weep to keep such things” – indeed, and thank heavens for that! Leave it to the poets to record the beautiful memories and the emptiness….

    There is a sense of nostalgia about this poem that speaks of human emotions, as well as of nature and I like that, as I do believe that our surroundings influence our emotions and our well-being – or our not-wellness. I liked the image of memories “caught against a rock” – really lovely line that, Nicky. I think the title is very fitting as this poem does have an “echoing quality” about it…something that returns and lingers. Nicely done – thank you for this entry

    ~ Nicolette

  • Rowan gold member
    June 17, 2008

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    A very haunted feel to this. Like trying to hold onto something that is impossibly incandescent. Beautifully penned. Loved the line;
    "Poets and promises weep to keep such things."


  • Rovingone gold member
    June 8, 2008

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    Now, this is what I like. A poem that is forthrite and easy to grasp. None of the abstract, but a wonderful metaphor use in the thoughts which were caught against a rock, sun spent, that will fade, till last wind coats the ground with their dust.


  • Robin Candor
    June 4, 2008

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    You are going introspective on me. forget the contest and the photo. You are looking in the mirror of both your soul and the physical glass. The mecury in the mirror is taking you back my friend, isn't it? You do not fling words around without meaning and I know that. The force of this write tells so much about you and about how you perceive yourself. The piece is another great bit of poetry without anyone commenting. It is not necessary. I just see you look through me here and right past my comments. You are staring at you. RC


  • LoveSpell-PurpleRose silver member
    June 4, 2008

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    Written Very Well!

    You have written this with such originality. It speaks through all of the words that you have written within this poem that you have written.( Who will remember when lush summer lips begged blossoms from a seed?.......Poets and promisses weep to keep such thing's.These are the word's that just jumped out at me for that is so true that us poet's all have our own styles of writing! Good Luck In The Contest ! Brenda Gae


  • toomysterious
    June 4, 2008

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    Such beautiful insightful words you use to capture the essence of memories that remain and haunt. "they left within a place empty, warm and wounded ...still. I can definitely identify with the sentiments.


  • Star Shine
    June 4, 2008

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    You describe the little moments, the details within details of the snapshots of life, abandoned as if unimportant but holding everything in their reflection. Lovely.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    June 4, 2008

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    Excellent

    A very fine write indeed. I liked it just as it is. For some reason, this poem reminded me of the one I wrote entitled "School Marm". Here's a link to it:
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/3085618


  • swim.x
    June 4, 2008

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    I hope you do well in this contest because you hit the nail on the head with this poem. It displayed vivid and encouraging emotion.
    Well done.


  • Cannonsfire
    June 3, 2008

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    *sigh Dear poet you have the softest fingers in which you choose to use in writing. So delicately beautiful and softly sad. Love, C


  • ShelleyA gold member
    June 3, 2008

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    A very good write. Heartfelt. A lovely rendering of your memories. Good imagery, flow and tone. Vivid descriptives. Very nice metaphor. Good word choice, alliteration and assonance. Very good closing lines. Well penned. Best wishes in the contest.

1 - 11 of 11