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Corpse Candle

Inextricably Drawn  towards your glow,
With legs walking strange paths indeed.
Following, as a kitten chases shadows,
Away from familiar, homely paths.

Vegetable matter in watery decay,
Stagnant depths whose ancient remains
Grasp my frozen legs in clammy grip,
A new course for their infernal feast!

Author notes

Another one of my pre AP efforts, as currently suffering from writers block. But even if it sucks, maybe I will get back to it one day...

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • jt4mc silver member
    November 16, 2008

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    I like this, all of it. I think the kitten part is good. It's like the innocence & playfulness is being drawn in, like nothing is safe. This is dark, yes, but it is also very deep and makes a nice read, again & again.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Yemassee silver member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow is right! I like the part about the kitten chasing the shadows. I have a cat that does that. I like the imagery very much.

    . Rewarded 4


  • crivanea silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow..pre AP..yep..know what u mean..got a bunch of poems on paper..lol..its not bad though..kinda dark..and not sure about the kitten part..lol..

  • JustFallingApart
    July 19, 2008

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    I don't think this sucks, I realy like this piece. I liked this line best " Stagnant depths whose ancient remains" very inspiering. nice write and keep the pen flowing
  • Howlongdoyou
    July 18, 2008

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    wow

    Very dark.Very interesting. I loved it. It got my thinking about some things. Thankyou for writing it. Very good!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Cherrylv
    July 13, 2008

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    Just wanted to add, we all have moments of not being able to write and it is funny how perhaps our darker side is often most prominent then. Keep writing.

    Hugs

    Cherry xxx

  • Cherrylv
    July 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very expressive piece, reminiscent of the 'Mummy' sorry but as I read it just after watching a re-run of the film it was the first thing that came to mind.

    Hugs

    Cherry xxx

  • Shifting
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Extremely dark, and very gross. Good thing though. I like how you say "paths" and then link it sort of with "course" in the last line.
    Very dark, very short and punctual, yet pungent. I can almost taste it.

    • Dreamana
      June 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for your kind comment. This was written at a time when I was really struggling to write.

  • Wayne Leon Learmond gold member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing wrong with this my friend. It holds a certain darkness, which is very attractive to me. I like the imagery here that you have displayed. Yes, a very good piece of dark writing indeed.

    With
    Dark
    Wishes.
    Wayne Leon

1 - 10 of 10