Summer passes by
Under our eyelashes.
Moments stand still.
Much to our surprise,
Eager children run into the
Rain
Running through the streets
As if it was a rain forest.
In instant reality intertwines back;
Night comes ending the rain.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hi, this is nicely done. By using imagery you don't have to take your lines as sentences. For instance: "as if it was a rain forest" you can easier replace it by " like a rain forest" or replace "as if it was" by another verb. I really like your last two lines. (> In an instant....) One other thing: you use too much capitals, on places where it is not needed.
I'm glad you started writing again
rain as methafor for pleasure...well done! Your bro 
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