Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

~Whirlwinds~

Inner thought's invade subconsciously,
racing paths of endless torture.
Turmoil erupting, spewing forth worrisome lava

contaminating.

Sanity fencing obscurity causing cyclones
of unprocessed emotions.
Whirlwinds of confusion,
tossing and turning on pin points;
life's trampoline.

Flawed and worn pieces of life providing solace

on that lonely path of sleepless nights. 

Author notes

Prompt: Sleepless nights
30 ~ 50 words

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent write!Tyhere is often more going on in the mind when trying to sleep than at any other time.
    Thanks so much for your entry
    Gaylene


  • creationsfromheart
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AW this is a write many of us can relate too I know I can for sure lol... Good luck in the contest love ya bunches and miss ya lots!

  • Kari gold member
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful.

  • imahealer
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sis, you took the words out of my mouth, only 10 times better than I could ever do. So many nights, tossing and turning, sleeping for 1/2 hour then up again. IT is sheer Hell. Everyday we live brings an overload of either positive or negative energy. ON the negative days, our minds won't sleep, though our weary bodies wish it. Your imagery is fantastic. Your title leads to your detailed agony. Looks like it could be GOLD! Hope so!

    Linda


  • penman gold member
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    such a great take on the prompt. So very well done. best of luck in the contest.


  • SuicidalLover
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooo.....very nicely done. *nods* Great word choice for the piece. I wish you the best of luck!
    ~Kystal Angel


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautifully written. Such strong imagery, it just wow's the reader. Good luck in the contest!


  • Heath Thompson
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Really like the ending Samantha! Good luck with the contest


  • Nevel
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, beautiful done! This is a kind of poem you must read and re-read it again...some amazing imagery here, there is much almost violent moving in your poem, but also some strong realistic clearity, very interesting..you choice your words very carefully, very concentrated. Great job and good luck in the contest


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this
    The imagery is amazing along with those thoughts
    I feel this myself some times
    When we are overloaded by life and the heavy days leading to those sleepless and restless nights
    Good luck in the contest hun
    Julie xxx

1 - 12 of 12