Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I Belong In Your Song

Could i have stopped time?


I want to freeze that moment
when your eyes met mine
in a lover's embrace.

Two souls melted
as one
playing a melody
of their own.

First time to be loved
in tenderness desire
your fire heats to excitement
but never burns my heart.

Sweet sweat dripped
from your hair
as we gave to each other

in free wills abandon
finally ache of love, forfilled

Could I have stopped time?


The moment you touched me
till the last tremble
underneath you.

I still tingle every-time
you look at me
Time...  
doesn't exist in paradise.

I need you again and again
For your love
takes me to a place i have
finally discovered.

Intoxicate by the way
you look at me.
Responding to each caress...


I belong in your song.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 58 of 58

  • Andre ben-YEHU
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    Bountiful~Beuatiful...

    A romantic expression of libidinal excitement that strikes the dynamo of desires and stimulates sensual passions; one that Cupid would recite in a party to Venus.

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


  • mgmc gold member
    August 25
    Edit | Reply
    Wow - well done! A very nice poem. You can feel the rhythm of it. I like the title. You create a very clear picture with words (well chosen words).
    Very well written!


  • echo-ink
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this...but never burns my heart.
    This was sensual and very classy.
    I loved this write.
    Bell, xx


  • Rovingone gold member
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Again, you capture the most universal of thoughts. Is there anyone who hasn't desired to stop time, and be forever in the moment of the greatest ecstasy? Yes, I know I have thought all these things, but didn't possess the expression you have for immortalizing them.


  • RestlessDreamer
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful poem! I like how you chose to ask "Could I have stopped time?" instead of saying "I could have stopped time." It made me stop and think a little more about the words I was reading. Great job!!!

  • Durlon
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    well done

    Flows well. Good rhythm. Good imagery develops an intense emotion. Has the ring of sincerity.


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful expression of love for your special someone. Love it! When you find "that one"...it's magic! Pam


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    so luscious and tender is this poem!

    way to write and melt our hearts!
    BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
    ears/Seattle


  • The Otep
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww! This is sensual in such a beautiful way...greatness!!


  • whos my humblepie
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing and and beautiful.
    Such lovely feeling with deep emotion.
    I think you have a few innocent errors in typing/spelling in some places.

    •forfilled
    -don't remember where I saw the other


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    August 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow,what can I say?...this is absolutely beautiful indeed!....Truly a masterpiece and a pleasure to read,Hazel


  • Ms.Kitty
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like thsis one.


  • TheFlutterbyRuler
    August 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great poem! love the title..very beautiful


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the trophies
    ... may you keep singing and being sung!

    Sol


  • Age of Rain
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This. Was. Absolutely. GORGEOUS! I loved the hook line 'Could I have stopped time?" and its subsequent repetition. Wonderful imagery abound, this is DEF one of my favorite sensual reads on this site. (has stolen the picture btw)


  • CatQueen248
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved your poem so much. Like VeritasLiberte said it was sensual, but not dirty. This truly shows how much you love your husband. Again an amazing write. Only thing I saw wrong was the last stanza just change intoxicate to "intoxicate", it would sound better.

  • VeritasLiberte
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly LOVELY and ATTRACTIVE sensuality! Nothing "dirty" or "smutty" here! I'm sure your husband appreciates this as your HEART'S CRY TO HIM! Great write!


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This just took me away to places I have been. There are times where you just want time to stand still so that the moment doesn't end. To be a part of a lovers song is a beautiful place to be.
    Soulful Woman


    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Soulful

      Yes, to be in a lover's song is the greatest of all experiances i so agree!
      To be one harmony together in a moment of time well, it is very hard to write how we feel at that time.
      Thank you for reading sweety!

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • deadheartedkitty
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so romantic and the words just flow, and i love the pic at the beginning...and the first time is always the best...you seem to capture that aspect very well...a beautiful write thanks for shareing


    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      It was my heart to my love, so thank you for reading and such a woonderful comment!

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • Wolf Mancini
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very beautiful

    The title seduced me, and the poem finished me.
    Very loving and tender moments you have weaved for us to feel on our own flesh...like silk, or satin.

    Excellent my friend..

    wolf


  • individuality gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem penned, in a lovers embrace. not taking away from your poem winning golds etc but if i were the judge i would say to you

    in a lovers embrace. - in a lover's embrace. as the embrace belongs to the lover so you would not have won in any of my contests

    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      individuality

      First thanks for reading!
      Also thanks for your advise i did change that little mistake.
      Now would i have won in any of you're contest? lol
      I love your honesty!
      When i write it just spills out, editing isn't my best subject, good thing if i ask my husband will help me!
      He is the editor in the family! lol
      I never was a perfectionist just love to write.

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • Hells Shadow
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oooh i have chills... very well written...my favorite lines were lines 25 an 26 "i still tingle everytime you look at me...i feel the exact same way about my girlfriend everytime she looks at me it sends chills up my spine!!


    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      Yes! when you love someone i think the chills come so naturally!
      Thanks for reading!

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • poetrychick2008
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very expressing...

    i can see how that made you feel at your point of view...
    about the first time to be loved...
    i hope it is just like that...very over reaching!

    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thanks for being able to see my feelings. If a poet can make someone see or feel then i take that as a high compliment!

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • ShannonLea
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sensual.
    Conveys so much affection and love
    Great poem
    ~cheers


    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      ShannonLea

      Thank you for the lovely comment.

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this is just lovely...very sappy!!! lol. This is a great piece...I see why it won 2 golds!! congrats

    • Soft-Rain
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      catie

      Awww, That was a very sweet comment.
      I think sappy is good sometimes. We need to show our love in many ways.
      Thanks for the comment!
      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem. It is a terrific compliment to your husband.

    Great job.

    Mike


  • Xianaria gold member
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you go girl! yay! i'll celebrate silver if you have the gold anyday woohoo!

  • Soft-Rain
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    Again Thank you! I am very honored but most of all i am happy i ever had the chance to write this poem for the one person i feel deserves everything..my husband Tim!

    I am humbled
    s


  • crazymomma
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! This is beautiful! I am speechless here. I really enjoyed the the line about time doesn't exist in paradise. I don't know what else to say except this is exquisite and amazing!

    • Soft-Rain
      July 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Crazymomma!

      I know how you feel about your love! Once you find the one you just know. I am totally addicted cant get enough of Tim ! Hes my world! He has brought such love to me that there is no way to ever show him how much i appreciate him.

      Isn't being in love awesome!

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~

  • AdulteratingDeploy
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is really good, I desided to comment on one of your poems and I just closed my eyes and clicked because you have so many, then I would click on a sexxxy one lol. Jp jp. Lol Love it love you .


  • Angelflower
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was so beautiful.. full of wonderful passion and intense emotion.. I really liked the flow and imagery that was here as well... Thank you very much for sharing. I really enjoyed this.. best of luck..

    Angel


  • ennovy silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    beautifully penned full of passion....thanks for enteringnovy & Brazos

  • twodie4
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Breathtakingly beautiful
    td4


  • Brazos silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual, very romantic. Time CAN stand still under the right circumstances.

    Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.

    Novy & Brazos


  • Xianaria gold member
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Congrats Baby!

    Hi Sweetie, congrats on the Gold! Wonderful job!

    Oh, and you're always in my song!

    I love you

    Tim


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie

    • Soft-Rain
      June 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Joisie

      Wow! I am so thrilled! Yet very humbled right now.
      Thank you so much for holding this contest and allowing me the privilege of writing my heart.
      Thanks for the gold i am honored.

      Hugs
      ~Lisa~


  • Velvet Rose Petals
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    After this poem I hope you are put into the song. Although you are probably already there in spirit although there are no words. Good luck with this. Amazing poem, good description of your love


  • aj.vamp
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. It is such a touching and heartfelt poem.
    I am totally in love with it.
    The way you described everyything, it flowed so well.
    STill in love with it.


  • hesmineforever2008
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    gorgous

    that was so amazing. you have great talent.


  • ShaShay
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I can identify with this poetic write. Isn't it great when you find that one person that can sing the harmony with you? Gret piece of imagery.


  • A-Dog
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. I enjoyed reading it. I will have to read some of your other work. Well good job. Keep up the good work.

    ~A-Dog~


  • darell
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Sing on..

    my sister! Omg! this was excellent in
    every way. your words bring tears to
    my eyes. Such passion and ecstasy.
    I'm in the mood for love and romance now.
    WOW!! What an exquisitely written love poem

  • WritingWretch silver member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    The only question I have is:

    Stopped in time for what? Sound like you did the right thing by not stopping. Makes me wish (only for a nano-second) I could feel that shared hormone induced surge of romance. What a thrill, vividly expressed.

  • midnightblue1272
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    *whistles in amazement*

    That was spectacular. Words of love expressed beautifully. You & Xianaria are so meant for each other.

  • Xianaria gold member
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    My Dear Beloved~

    "I want to freeze that moment
    when your eyes met mine
    in a lovers embrace."

     

    From the moment our eyes met and your smile became reality, I knew for a fact that I, indeed, loved you. The words you've laid before my eyes in this write I relive with the intense emotions of that moment in time, when you and I became complete. Just looking over at you as I read this, seeing the look in your eyes, your smile, knowing you know what I am reading...I cannot express what I am feeling.

     

    "I still tingle every-time
    you look at me
    Time...
    doesn't exist in paradise."

     

    ~ As do I, my Love, and you are correct: Time doesn't exist in Paradise.

    You leave me at a loss for words. This morning as I held you and you told me you did this, I couldn't wait to see what you wrote ~ yet, I was also lost in our current moment of tenderness, so I waited til just now.

     

    I love you, Bride of my Soul~

    You are forever my song
    ~ ♥~

    Tim


  • snowbird600
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    PRETTY PRETTY! Great words here.
    You did so well writing this.
    Very soft words with great visualization.
    Love
    Steffany


  • azlyn gold member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Tender and lovely Sis! Such passion and yet completely graceful...a very enticing piece of erotica!

    Love you~


    Sue


  • myrataal silver member
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I seldom read erotica ...

    but this poem is gentle and lovely.

    Myra

1 - 58 of 58