Love isn't Easy

The pain of life
the sting of death
the agony of every breath
the choice remains
which one hurts less?
which one will suit my love the best

My mind assailed
by things unseen
antecedents ensnaring me
a life was lived
precociously
far from me forgiveness be

Unfair! Unfair!
who owned this life?
was it not my future wife?
who's life was changed,
excused by Christ!
iniquities no longer rife

Ah, yes, It's true.
Then why the pain?
Why do memories fall like rain
of death and poison, fear and strain
reminiscing will be my bane

And love! true Love!
Her beauty shines
as a perfect rose among the vines
of frivolous and shallow lives
A perfect love that she enshrines

True, her love burns
but mine grows cold
from memories of sins of old
hopeless attempts at being free
from this mindless and hurtful mold

Why Oh, Why,
does she love me?
looking at me longingly
this perfect love is thrown to waste
this love Impossibility

This perfect love
do i abhor
aspersions fly, "you were a whore"
drunken choices, tongue untamed
yet perfect love still at my door

Why the hell
Can I not love
This angel sent from up above
to rescue me from my distane
this girl that I'd been dreaming of

Perfect love!
How can it be
that forgiveness is so far from me
I ache, I crave, I yearn to love
to love her just as perfectly

But alas
forgiveness wanes
and my effort, all in vane,
fades away from love and grace
to a reprobate mind, and endless pain

The pain of life
the sting of death
the agony of every breath
the choice remains
which one hurts less?
which one will suit my love the best...