Her beauty traps a mirror;
a visage never lies,
reflections muddle clearer
the anguish in her eyes.
A visage never lies,
though teardrops stain deceit;
the anguish in her eyes
entrapped in her heartbeat.
Though teardrops stain deceit,
sleek shadow casts no blight
entrapped in her heartbeat
the prism of the night.
Sleek shadow casts no blight,
reflections muddle clearer
the prism of the night;
her beauty traps a mirror.
Author notes
Prompt: The whole repetition thing was tough. I hope this turnout is alright.
GreenHrtPaleMoon-
Picture prompt:: http://tn1-1.pv.deviantart.com/fs29/150/i/2008/137/4/8/the_girl_in_the_mirror__by_Pretty_As_A_Picture.jpg
note same as with margarets, take this wherever you desire.
Form set/restrictions: I know you like a reasonable challenge, so please write a pantoum. Information can of course be found on Shadowpoetry.com. It can either be 8 lines, 16 lines or 24 lines, whichever you prefer and you can take this wherever you like.
Line restrictions: see above ^
In a list
A contest entry
- Ultimate Poet - Finale - INVITE ONLY!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended June 12, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme - Sonnet, Villanelle, or Pantoum only. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended July 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This really ...
isn't bad, but you might want to fix the title. The word is ENSNARED, Not ENSARED.
I take it this is your first pantoum. You undoubtedly learned several things: 1) they aren't all that difficult to write AND 2) they are much simpler than sonnets or villanelles.
Thanks for entering and good luck with your writing in the future.
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96.5
wow what can i say.i really do love this poem and i dpo agree with the other judges comment there isnt a lot more that i can really say -
89
I love to read and write rhyming poetry, particularly the ones with set form and refrains, so I appreciate how challenging the pantoum can be. I am not quite as enthusiastic as the other judges because I disliked the use of "muddle" in the context. I think another more precise or poetic word would have improved this poem. Otherwise it was a pleasure to read. -
98
This is one of my favorite forms. They can be a challenge to write though.(Which is why I don't write more of them)
You did outstanding. -
96.5
just... wow. I agree wholeheartedly with Stef.
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weird, you've done this one, but not the one before
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wait, what? Did I miss judging one?
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appears so... one of PatheticKT's.
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I agree with Stef, Marty. I'm not a great fan of rhyming poetry but you did a superb job with this one and it flowed very nicely.
Best wishes in the contest.
Love Margaret
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96.5
Sorry, but I love it. It's such a hard for to do so to do it well for a start is a plus! Also really hard to incorporate the repetition but you did this magnificently and I love the way it flowed perfectly and made sense. Enjoyed this very much!
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1 - 10 of 10
