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Inconclusive

How does it feel to be inconclusive, buried in your own distrust and disgust?
Does it feel good?  Slashing your body to try and soothe the mental scars?
How can you stand to feel the pain that comes on as hard as a raging typhoon, and to consistently destroy yourself instead of confiding in me?
Can you not trust me after the whirlwind of thoughts we’ve shared before?
Does thrashing yourself and shunning me make you feel the way I can’t?

I mean, there are people of all ages, young and old striving for life
Even if they could hold on for that one more second, that’s enough for them
Yet you seem to be trying so hard sometimes to take the life that god has so gracefully given you
I’m sorry if I don’t understand, but then again, I’m not in a rush to

You are a true gift from god, born into poverty only to be blessed with wealth
Don’t take it for granted, drop the knife and step away from the rope
Read this poem and be filled with hope
‘Cause you’ve gone so far, almost off the edge
and I really can’t watch you cause your own death

A contest entry

Writing this hurt

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Atrus
    June 11, 2008

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    This sounds like such a sad situation :-( but you do a great job at pleading your case. I hope everything turned out okay!


  • Metaphorist
    June 3, 2008

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    Whoever you've written this for should realize that you really care for them. I loved the line "Slashing your body to try and soothe the mental scars?" I never looked at it that way. Well done.


  • AdamAdkins
    June 3, 2008

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    So dark and beautiful.

    I really like the style and format here. The long lines really let you say what you want to and be poetic.


  • The Otep
    June 3, 2008

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    Very Nice! I could tell this was indeed a painful poem to pen...but it came so lovely. The lines flowed and the topic was amazing. Best to you in the contest!!


  • Nothing But No
    June 3, 2008

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    This was really good and I wish you all the best in this contest. One thing, the last stanza you start with ' but you never ended the ' just thought I'd let you know Again, best of luck.

1 - 5 of 5