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This Tiny Umbrella

Here I am under this
Tiny Umbrella
On a chest
The contents of which
Is deeply embedded
Inside my heart

And what you can't see
Are the tears
That are pouring
Out of my darkened soul

Tiny umbrella I hold
You close
So that you
Protect the remains
Of my broken heart

And so that darkness
Will never consume
My soul


Author notes

Pic 5 pic credit:Umbrella by *MzFrkD

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • vampedvixen
    November 13, 2008
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    It would be more grammatically correct for the line "Is the tears" to read "Are the tears". I'm not quite sure what the metaphor you write about in this poem is supposed to mean to the audience. What is this tiny umbrella? And what is the chest? I do, however, enjoy the last stanza, that darkness that might consume your soul is terrifying and powerful. It's scary but I think you will defeat it


  • Meej
    September 21, 2008

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    You have used the metaphor of an umbrella for protection well in this poem. you have even linked it back to its actual usage by talking about the tears that are pouring...this poem is very sad, but because you use the umbrella it brings visions of bright coloured umbrellas juxtaposed to rainy grey days, this forces the reader to visualise the pain in this story but in a way that is light and palatable.


  • fairytalelovestory
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The Poem was for a picture prompt and the girl was sitting on a chest underneath an umbrella.


  • KayJay
    June 23, 2008

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    Nicely done... I love the metaphor and, unlike Stephanie, I don't see this as sad... more hopeful, in fact... I think the imagery and flow are really good.

    I was lost on the third line "on a chest"... which did break my attention since I kept looking for the tie in (and I'm sorry, I didn't find it ) but overall I found this very beautiful...

    I think this is a really good work... Thank you for sharing...Truly, this is what I was hoping for... and it's unappreciated no longer.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    June 3, 2008

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    awwww this is very sad, but a wonderful write, and great flow
    nicely done and take care
    thanks for entering
    stephanie

1 - 5 of 5