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Livid welts ensue the fall,
and hope neglects my doleful plea.
With screams of ire and grueling pain,
the chair collapses under me.



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Comments

  • OldHatAndCat
    June 19, 2008

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    Very Good !

    Less is truly more. Great usage of words and saying so much with so few lines. Keep writing, please! And thank you very much for your kind comments!


  • Metaphorist
    June 3, 2008

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    Wow. Great diction and what an image. Did not expect the last line at all. Good luck in the contest!


  • David. Enjoy.
    June 2, 2008

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    Although some might not like the rhyme, I liked it here. There's a lot said about support and its failure as well as an image of a reason to be up in the first place.

    Really nice job with this. Thanks for the entry.