you are turning around
tracing circles on the floor
because you don't want to look into my eyes
your halo
has fallen to the ground
you are trying to imitate its shape
by drawing in the sand
but you will not succeed
because I will obliterate the sketches
you made to deceive me
Author notes
adjectives?
A contest entry
- Pre-write-a-pal-ooza by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fight for the Gold: Prewrites Unlimited #1 by amaranthine lover.
27500 points, ended August 28, 2009, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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21.14 / 25
How very lovely! -
Nicely done. I like it, short and sweet. Thank you so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest... Scott
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wow!!!! this is pretty good!!! have a nice day!!!! -slick99
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No adjectives so far, good job. I don't know where that came from, I won't tell you whom it reminds me of (?). I just say that the flow is good, and the content is very well written yet frightening.
In the first stanza and referring to the title I thought you would write something about fairies or so, but then...
Really good work, impressed!
Jo
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DON'T YOU DARE NOT TELL ME!
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I don't want to shock you!
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pleeeeease?
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born 20.04.1889
died 30.04.1945 -
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oh. wow. gosh.
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see, there's a shocked smiley. "i told you so". sorry
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lol, and why?
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maybe we go on chatting about this in our IMs...
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LIl ANn... wonderful work. I love the way you have presented this poem.It is written with greatest of the great intelligence.It encompasses the circle of life and love. Good work dear. I would be happy, if you could spare your time to stamp your impressions on my poems too.
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Ah, the cleverest of poems!
I can just hear you saying this to someone, tapping your foot and pointing your finger at the accused.
lol A darling poem!
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