the steam upon my mirror
was fogging up my view
like the words you said to me
yet you knew they were untrue
you lied your way to passion
your words seemed so heart-felt
since you've gottten what you wanted
those empty words now melt
I feel betrayed and angry
I'm feeling really piss't
I thought your love was solid
but it was just a mist
Author notes
Prompt: Condensation
photo from: i17.photobucket.com/.../FoggyKiss.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- It's Called 'Condensation' by eltortedequeso.
875 points, ended June 11, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Less Than 3 comments by piccola.
700 points, ended November 3, 2008, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wohoooo! steaming up the windows. I like everything about this...well, the spelling of piss't maybe. I would have spelled it pissed but that's just me!
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A one sided steamy affair with a theme as old as the hills, but you nailed the heartless critter.
They made me smile, those last four lines.
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A beautiful play on words!
You took the prompt and gave it a creative twist
(steam, fogging, mirror, solid, melt and mist) Are the key words that create the scene. I love subtlety in word play so you get three dancin', applaudin' happy bunnies.
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Very nicely written. I think people can really relate to this, the feeling of hearing things that turn out to be false, or the flipside, saying things to get what you want. Thank you for entering this!
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