With obvious indifference he says,
she's not what he wants,
because she doesn't grace magazine covers;
his portrait of beauty is airbrushed.
He shove in her face,
all the irracional thoughts,
he had envisioned in his eyes.
She replies,
he doesn't deserve her.
How can he profess love
from a glossy semblance?
He should love a woman's heart.
She deemed him goodbye,
for in the road she found her dream...her true love,
"I love you not because of exterior beauty,
but because you are beautiful when I tell you,
I love you..."
Author notes
You don't love a woman,
because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful, because you love her....
XXVampireeyesXX
Thanks Sailor Ptolema!
In a list
A contest entry
- but she is beautiful... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended June 16, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever by crazymomma.
450 points, ended June 9, 2008, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Beauty by crazymomma.
1400 points, ended August 19, 2008, 31 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Never Again Will This Hurt Me
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
This is a great poem cuz. I enjoyed it alot. Congrast on the bronze cup. It was well deserved.
-
OOH!!! I really like this one. This line: "his portrait of beauty is airbrushed." is my absolute favorite part.
-
Young poet
The world can rejoice at such splendor when the words of a young poet can bring forth such a declaration of true love. Write on.
-
Lovely piece.
I agree with Tal, such words come straight from the heart, congrats on the piece. People can indeed learn from this poem, but its their choice if they choose to take it to heart or not. Lovely piece, and thank you for sharing it with us.
-
-
thank you very much I am glad you are one of such person to agree with this piece.. thanks for reading!
-
-
Holy fuck. And no I don't care I said that. This came straight from the soul. You have no idea how much I relate. This is an amazing if not extroidinary piece. Everyone should read this and take something from it. Loved it.
Tal.
-
-
aww thanks sweety much appreciated...
-
-
Wow. Wow. Wow. I am absolutely in shock right now. No, not because you wrote such an incredible and moving piece, because that's nothing new, but because I pretty much feel this exact way right now! Wowww.
"She replies,
he doesn't deserve her."
Perfect lines. I love this poem ALOT, you could basically say. Keep writinggg !! ♥
-
You don't love a woman,
because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful, because you love her....
GREAT QUOTE!
and smoth verse...
-
'With obvious indifference he says,
she's not what he wants,
because she doesn't grace magazine covers;
his portrait of beauty is airbrushed.'
That opening was beautiful, this whole piece was lovely, but so so so sad
Great write though
♥
-
In verse 2 I think it should be "he Shoved".This is very lovely with great imagery. Thanks so much for entering. I enjoyed reading this a lot
-
Well I do like the intensity part of it..it moves the readers and that is the strength of this verse..well done...
-
ok, the basic premise is good...I think you might want to add another stanza....inbetween the 1st and 2nd.. to tie them together...they seem a little disjointed.. and some grammatical suggestions:
1. personally, I'm not a fan on beginning every line with a capital letter, it's not my style, I think it would look better if it was written naturally.... for example
'He comes and says,
she's not what he wants,
just because she ain't a magazine model,
just because she's not perfect on the outside.'
and in stanza 3..the word 'concludes' doesn't sit well with me....
I would try to reword that first line.
I hope helped
-
*wowowowowowowow*
i love how you said you loved him but you were gutsy enough to leave him. you are right, he does NOT deserve you if all he cares about is your looks!! love your poem!!! it's perfect to me.
-
This isn't realistic enough. There has to be more factors to it.
-
whoa girl! way to tell him off lol any guy tht says this is truly fucked up and doesnt deserve you!
xoxo- christina
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
