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On the Buffet

It was hot,
so hot the potatoe bugs
had rolled away in search of shade.
It was the kind of heat you can smell.
It smelled of asphalt and red mud,
of rotting trash with a dash of metal.
It was cool in Daddy's work shed,
but Mommy said it wasn't safe to play there.
That never stopped me.
He came over from next door to play with me.
I didn't know why, he was so much bigger than I was.
He taught me a new game that day,
one I will never forget.
I can still smell the grease and the oil,
the gas from the can when it tipped.
Daddy's workbench was rough and full of splinters.
I didn't like the new game.
I lay there watching the spiders as they
crawled around on the ceiling of the shed.
What pretty webs they made
as the flies buzzed about waiting their
turn to become part of the buffet.
I was on my own buffet table, waiting,
while he consumed me, heart and soul.
When his meal was ended and the sacrifice released
I walked back out into the sunlight and the heat.
The sun blinded me, but, no matter, his new game was
forever burned into my mind.
I don't need eyes to see it, I only have to look
into my memory and it is there, fresh, crisp and clear.


Do you think this is how the fly feels?




Author notes

option #1

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • SoundsOfSilence
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    Very imaginative...strong imagery.

    This is just great... I love it.


  • hotpinkpenguin
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this poem was very vivid. i thought the buffet metaphor was brilliant. great job, thanks for entering, and good luck :]


  • transit
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm

    This could well be how a fly feels. I love the imgery and the freshness in this poem. I did not rhyme was still awesome!! congrats on the trophies and good luck in this contest!

    transit~


  • Quill Bill
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have written this from the point of view of a child, making it more powerfull and painfull as the reader is left thinking about a child not the memorys of an adult.


  • checkmate
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is such a painful read. your lines were innocent and poignant and the last few lines almost made me cry. you have such raw emotions in your words that claw at the reader...this is one piece I won't forget for a long long time

    thank you for the wonderful entry. wishing you the best of lucks,
    checkmate


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Touching!

    Do you think this is how the fly feels?

    So much imagery and creativity packed into one tiny sentence. The whole poem overall was well written and very unique. Like nothing I've ever seen before! Great job and best of luck to you!!!!


    • Kathryn Bowden
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Unfortunately, I realized after I entered it it's from June, not July. So, I replaced it with a different one. Thanks!
      Kathryn

  • piccola silver member
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so touching. Powerful and haunting, especially the ending. It is filled with imagages that burn into the soul. I am hoping it is merely your muse but something tells me you have to had been there to write so well about it. Auditory sensations as well as visual. Thank you for the entry.


  • Nicada silver member
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is powerful and painful to read. You have expressed your deep pain so well and I commend you for having the courage to share this. So many others have experienced this kind of pain, and if your write can reach out and touch others to know at least they are not alone in this kind of pain, it is a great thing. Writing can be so healing. I know how much this kind of memory can haunt one's life, and I am sorry you went through such horror. Thanks for sharing this and for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty


  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like so many things about this poem that I am not sure where to start.
    I love the comparisons between the girl in the poem and the spiders/insects. It really adds dimension to the poem.
    I love the way you described things, the details made the imagery even more real and therefore made the poem so much better.
    I also love the way you told the story of what happened while not really saying the whole thing. A lot was left to be assumed and think that made it better.
    My only real criticism of this poem is that the flow is kinda nonexistant which makes it a little hard to read in places.

    Nikki


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    June 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great attention to detail in this piece and I like the metaphors. This seeps into the soul, it hurts and yet you cannot look away. A strong piece. Well done.


  • ellaelu
    June 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    omg this triggered the sh*t out of me! good write K, but way to close to home for me. time to throw up..

    steph

1 - 13 of 13