Another world.

Another world,
Waiting beneath the ocean,
I am there,
Right now.

I swim to the furthest reaches,
Of this new world,
Away from the Air,
Down into despair.

There it is,

That magnificent city,

Beneath our world,

The world of air is gone.

It drags me in,

That strong thing,

A whirlpool,

Racing a current.

Bubbles burst from my mouth,

And everything is nice,

Little clownfish swim by,

Filled with love.

I feel the warm sensation,

Burst from my skin,

Another life,

From time.

Author notes

I dedicate this poem to DawnKestrel because she has always been there for me.

A contest entry

Anything you want by MrCrepsley. 600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What does this remined you of?

Comments

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
endless-lover
October 6, 2008
Edit | Reply

great write hun

vanna
MrCrepsley
June 15, 2008
Edit | Reply

Wow!!!!! This is really good Good luck
Miss Faerie
June 6, 2008

Edit | Reply

Welcome to Allpoetry
Welcome to the site as a new user

I liked this piece, as it represents something different and I quite love pieces filled with imagination.

The flow is excellent and steady throughout the piece which rolls easily through the mind.

My suggestions are the second last stanza, last line should be "a racing current" and also that commas are not needed in every line. Only when you want the reader to pause and take in something you have said.

Welcome to the site, enjoy
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask

Faerie
Site Greeter
The Doctor
June 2, 2008
Edit | Reply

This is my first poem. I'm also Maximum but this is my first poem on this user.