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The Lonely Clown

All smiles and laughs
trying to make someone's day
but what hides behind the mask?
what is he hiding away?

makeup and mask portrays a smile
but no one knows the sad truth
what memories he has that are starting to pile,
and the hidden secrets of his unfortunate youth

a run away, off to join the big tent
no where else to go
fragile mind now sorrowfully bent
but he still has to perform in the show

there to stay forever more
under the tent, never to find his home
the countless places he gets to explore
but through endless darkness he has to roam

no one gives a passing thought
after the performers take their bow
they never bother to wonder for the distraught,
poor, sad and lonely clown.

Author notes

Clowns creep me out but sad ones make me sad, lol, that sounded weird XD

A contest entry

what do you think?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    Judges Comment...

    My eyes smarted as I read this lovely piece...you have caught the essence of the sadness behind the thick and greasy makeup, masking him from world eyes...daily he makes people laugh and jump with joy, but who is there to make him smile...

    You have done well to put so much emotion into this poem, considering clowns creep you out

    Good rhyming in all stanzas except the last one, bow and clown don't rhyme, but putting that aside, you have expressed some nice imagery, emotion and story telling

    ~Lilac

  • kales4
    June 15, 2008

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    Thank you for entering my contest. I really liked this poem.. It makes me think of all the people who show no signs of unhappiness but behind closed doors are miserable. Its weird how much that happens that someone only cries behind closed doors. There was one line "what memories he has that are starting to pile," which felt akward to me and i thought something like "what memories he has had for a while" might help the flow a little but it is just a suggestion. Great write and good luck


  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 7, 2008

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    I like it. It's cute in a sad way. I like the idea, the symbol we all see of happiness and laughter and twisting it differently to show another side. I do like although I think it could us a few tweaks. It runs dry in a few spots but overall great effort.
    Oh and my only other downpoint was that it seems really obvious. And I was going to say this but then i thought that maybe you meant the clown as a metaphor and I spent wayyyy to much time thinking over this clown metaphor that i like made up in my head haha.
    So sorry for that crazy ramble. Point is nice poem and thanks for entering the poem.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    June 6, 2008

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    This is an interesting write - I think that where you have 'no where' it should actually be one word... but apart from that this is a very well thought out poem - I liked the rhyme and the rhythm good luck in the contest!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    June 2, 2008

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    awchhh clowns they make us smile
    worth seeing for a while
    after they leave for their tent
    they torment and lament
    those fine eyes ooze tears
    and they fight in fears
    clowns that we laugh when we see
    no one knows what's in deep
    for no one can see
    such a wonderful write its really a blast i think you got a great chance of winnning hun for this wow write


  • tawk gold member
    June 2, 2008

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    Amazing!

    I could so relate to your amazing poem! Yes we never know the person behind the mask. I hate seeing sad clowns too especially since I was one for many years but hid behind a smile and mask. Thanks for sharing this amazing piece. It took alot to write about clowns I know when one is scared of them. Good luck in the contest Theresa

1 - 6 of 6