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Passing Time

Missing image

Angels tread in passing time

lingering over days of yore

what once was childish laughter

are glistening stars in heavens light

Trudging pain of teen new growth

misunderstood by elder peers

rebellion pimples searching

tears of sorrow gone in time

 

Heartache love restrictions abound

family friends support the love

growing on mind and heart

give strength to motives aware

Climbing to hilltop aware

float on clouds of peaceful white

 

Darkness comes in due time

tired we are of troubles aware

return to heaven for peaceful days

leaving behind an empty chair

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Art: Evidence of Time by Brad Kim

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    This poem reads like the circle of life from the ‘childish laughter’ to the “empty chair” – and that is how life or time or our lifetime is, isn’t it. The “rebellion pimples” made me smile – many ways to interpret that!

    In the 2nd part of the poem I see that you’ve used the word ‘aware’ three times – a bit too much and so close to each other too. I was also wondering about the end-line rhyming in the last stanza as the rest of the poem was written in free verse. I think one should stick to one poetry form – if you change the word “aware” in the last stanza that might correct the rhyme, so to speak. Although the last stanza read the most fluently, lol. Overall I think you’ve done well to capture the passing of time here. Thank you for your entry.

    ~ Nicolette

  • Papagallo
    June 3, 2008

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    Time does pass on and it gets to a point where only memories do remain. A great write. May you do well in the contest.


  • Sagerider
    June 3, 2008

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    Great write

    I plan on living it as fast as I can until the last bite of the apple so the thought kinda of went against the grain with me. Great write anyway, a poem doesn't always speak to everyone.


  • arafura gold member
    June 2, 2008
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    Good work my friend. And very wise too! Good luck in the contest!