Solo heart
strikes against
sizeable mattress
Aura of
subdued soul
Headboard of hope
pressed firmly
with forlorn fingers
of loneliness
Author notes
Prompt: Quote, 20 words
"You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed
With a single pillow underneath your single head"
(be gentle, I'm struggling..... oh and that last part has no reference to hands against a headboard in differing circumstance lol)
In a list
A contest entry
- 7 entries, 20 words #6 by phantasyintrigue-x.
400 points, ended June 2, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Aura of
subdued soul
, love that sis
this is wonderful for the prompt..i know I would have stuggled with it...i never felt in your words that you did, awesomeness
Congrats on the silver
Cindy
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Awesome imagery.
Congrats on Silver.
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The ending to this piece is what did it for me. Powerful impact there that stays with you long after reading. grats on the silver AGAIN!!! give me some!
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For the inspiration given, I think you did wonderfully. The ending here tied it all together, and managed for a powerful delivery. Nice write!
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Aww, Headboard of hope pressed firmly with forlorn fingers of loneliness" Wow! I can really picture those lines. So sad. It's funny how sometimes even the smallest beds feel like they are big and empty. Fantastic! Congrats on the Silver.♥
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I love the "headboard of hope" even though you are touching it with "forlorn fingers of loneliness"...still means you are trying to get some light out of the darkness just by touching it, this is awesome sis! x
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You are drawing so well lately, imagery flows through your words like psaint from a brush.
When I draw I draw a blank.
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Excellent
Wow, you do have such an incredible gift for these short contest. Congratulations on silver. -
Very interesting take on the prompt....I pondered this one for awhile myself but drew a blank so well done!! Congrats on the Silver.....Most deserving!!!
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Very short, yes, but a most interesting and intrigueing piece of poetry here, indeed! I like it muchly.... bravo... bravo...
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Congrats on the Silver!!
Great wording! I loved the 'headboard of hope' even though you are touching it 'with forlorn fingers
of loneliness'...you still are touching that 'hope'.
Nicely done!!
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Excellent
Congrats on Silver hun. Lost in a sea of memories, so sad but beautifully written
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aaww
such sadness! my friend your write are always great works of art, but the sadness contained within is troubling to me. I hope things turn around for you soon. Also congrats on your silver!
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Congrats on the silver!
A fantastic piece hunni, how you managed with that prompt I will never know
You always seem to come up with the perfect write. This screams loneliness and is so heartfelt. Beautiful to read 
Congrats on the silver
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Great write....sounds like my bedroom... One pillow and a double bed
good luck in the contest
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It's already been judged
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BRAVO!
so great!
you have such talent in conveying depth with so few words
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aww auntie
congrats on silver
i love you -
Excellent
What a terrific use of twenty words. So very well expressed. Congratulations on the silver.
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Aw, very well done on your silver shine there! I can see why. This piece is really very much incredible!
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twenty word masterpiece sad and heartfelt and truly a gripping personal write, one I relate to far too well. The most liked phrase you have spun here Headboard of hope which we continue to bang that thch noggan against don't we? It is in the all alone days of life where we catch the breath needed to work through the issues that make us and late at night when the whispers rattle in our mind is when the tears flow watering our growth well done and good luck though I doubt you need it
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Wonderful take on the prompt, this feels so lonely
Good luck in the contest.
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This is such a wonderful write. I loved your choice of words and phrases here. "Headboard of hope", wow that is so deep. Well done for this and all the best for the contest.
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You have such a way with words! Perfect interpretation of the prompt in my opinion. Good luck in the contest!
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ummm ...
you just do this? hehehh
heheh ... although, very telling last stanza. truly. Descriptive and creative.
Your Sweet King
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This poem definitely has sorrow drenching every word.
"Aura of subdued soul"
'Subdued soul' is like pseudo-alliteration. 'Aura' is just a plain kick-ass cool word.
"Headboard of hope"
Definitely my favorite line/phrase.
"Singular heart" is nice...but I was wondering maybe you could change it to "Solo heart"...Of course, if you changed it to "Solo heart".
Thanks for this entry...=] -
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Yes, you're right once again... solo is much better... lol
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