Madness…
It’s the tender moments
that convince your heart
that this is more than infatuation.
I thought that after years
of living together the time
was right…
but the proposal…
a special moment that must
be accomplished “just so”…
or be forever regretted
With my normal aplomb and
fine sense of wit, I devised a
plan sure to please…
The big day arrived and, knowing
her to be a “morning person” I waited
for her to exit the lavatory following
her daily ritual of ablutions…
As she exited, she saw me standing
there… in all my manly glory… with
an engagement ring appropriately
appended and my pubic hair sweetly
shaved in the form of a heart…
“Will you marry me” was written
in a fully washable felt tip script
across my chest….
I had spared nothing to make the
moment special…
As she stared at me, mesmerized
by my heartfelt display of affection,
she uttered the words (well most of
them, anyway) that I had wanted to
hear… “Yes… but on one condition”
A condition? My heart fell as did the
ring…. “Anything, my love" was my
hesitant response…
“Please, move away from the window…
I don’t want the neighbors thinking
I married you for money…..”
And they wonder why the divorce rate
is so high…..
Random thoughts…
Marriage is like a key and a lock.
The lock is her vagina,
and the key is…
something that’s not battery operated
like she’s been used to for years and
I can’t say since this is free verse
and not rhyme!
Author notes
Prompt: Marry me!
Picture Credit: http://aegipan.deviantart.com/art/Tenderness-the-sacred-bond-35646556
A contest entry
- Free Verse Writers....It's Time To Be Creative by Dalaney.
975 points, ended June 3, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Again, laughing until my neighbors will think I have finally gone round the bend. Oh, you are funny!! Too bad it wasn't appreciated, I found it charming and delightful.!! let's have more of your poems and then more still!
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'A condition? My heart fell as did the
ring…. ' LOL LOL
oh this is excellent Ken, you have excelled yourself here! Fine wit and humour.
Pity the family jewels weren't enough! LOL
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Glad I could give you a laugh to start the day... It's totally fictional, of course
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
K
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Excellent humour, raunchy yet self-effacing, terrific fun to read, and good poetry too.
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Thank you for the kind comment... Sometimes you just need to share a laugh... Glad I could offer you one today.
Ken
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OMFG!!! You are terrible!!!! That is soooo funny.. and I hope like hell it's not a true story!!
HAHA.. I gotta agree with the end part too
You are hysterical and I just adore reading your humourous writes... totally brightened my day!
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Jackie, Jackie, Jackie... I'll never tell () Glad I could offer you a smile in your day...
Ken
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LOL! this had me laughing right out loud! (while I was trying desperately NOT to visualize!) You never fail to entertain me. I love your sense of humor. and, hey! don't knock "things" with batteries! lol
Kathryn -
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So pleased you got a good laugh out of it... That was its purpose... and as for "battery operated machinery"... Whatever makes you smile
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LOL I won't dare ask. You my good friend have outdone yourself here lol I wish you the best in the contest, but this is a winner either way!!
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I appreciate that... you're a lady (unlike some I could name) Glad you enjoyed it...
Ken -
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Hope you're not talking about me
because I am most certainly a lady. 
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As the prince said to Cinderella... "If the shoe fits" LMAO!
Of course not you... what ever would give you such a misleading impression? My
breaks at the thought that you would even think such a thing...
Ken (Now where did that come from?)
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LOL. Of course your heart breaks at the thought of it.
You could have used this one
, would have been more effective. 
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Oh, dear, dear Ken, you are a wicked boy.
This is too funny. (And kind of terribly not funny too). I'm half wondering if the story is true, but then, not quite sure I want to know! LOL. Good luck in the contest.
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I am too much of gentleman to use the language that springs to my trembling lips
... but you know what I'm thinking ... Shame on you!
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