Two hand-written words
on a piece of paper
That dances in the eddies
in the gutter
in the rain.
Discarded carelessly
as she laughed.
Two hand written words
carried his despair
along with the
rain water
On the bench
he was shy
she was keen
They chose children's names
as they completed
a practice run
"Marmaduke"
She laughed and lightning flashed
and thunder crashed
and it rained
it was time to leave
She pressed the note
into his hand
as still laughing
they kissed
and her taxi pulled away
"but I love my wife"
Author notes
75% discarded to make it work!
The two words, and the prompt, are "Marry me"
A contest entry
- Free Verse Writers....It's Time To Be Creative by Dalaney.
975 points, ended June 3, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Wonderful
Very creative and well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.

-
Go figure for the poor damsel.
Great write on love and cant having it how convenient of a piece.
well done and best of luck
Passions

-
Mmmm....maybe this bloke should have 'come clean'....
Makes you think though-great write-good luck
xxx

-
ypur free verse is getting better everyday. The last line "but I love my wife"
confuses me somewhat, sounds kinda forced here, not sure if it belongs. The poem is great without it. Leaves you unknowing, whether she wil or she won't as she rides away.... Good luck in the contest. Jen

-
-
You've missed the point, she asked him but he's married already.
-
-
He really should come out with the truth and tell the poor woman...
A good free verse...all the best in the contest


1 - 6 of 6







