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Regrets

Two hand-written words
on a piece of paper
That dances in the eddies
in the gutter
in the rain.

Discarded carelessly
as she laughed.

Two hand written words
carried his despair
along with the
rain water

On the bench
he was shy
she was keen

They chose children's names
as they completed
a practice run

"Marmaduke"

She laughed and lightning flashed
and thunder crashed
and it rained

it was time to leave

She pressed the note
into his hand
as still laughing
they kissed
and her taxi pulled away

"but I love my wife"


Author notes

75% discarded to make it work!
The two words, and the prompt, are "Marry me"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • penman gold member
    June 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Go figure for the poor damsel.
    Great write on love and cant having it how convenient of a piece.

    well done and best of luck

    Passions


  • moonbumps silver member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mmmm....maybe this bloke should have 'come clean'....
    Makes you think though-great write-good luck
    xxx


  • pantress silver member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ypur free verse is getting better everyday. The last line "but I love my wife"
    confuses me somewhat, sounds kinda forced here, not sure if it belongs. The poem is great without it. Leaves you unknowing, whether she wil or she won't as she rides away.... Good luck in the contest. Jen


    • cricketjeff gold member
      June 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      You've missed the point, she asked him but he's married already.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    He really should come out with the truth and tell the poor woman...

    A good free verse...all the best in the contest

1 - 6 of 6