I compare our love to the sky
with beautiful rays of emotion
that shine across parted lips
to dream
and clouded moments
hanging thick above our thoughts
raining briefly when we collide ~
but still
there are swooping birds and sunshine
and colours that remain untouched
reminding us how to be complete
and I am
only with you
Author notes
Prompt: Marry Me
A contest entry
- Free Verse Writers....It's Time To Be Creative by Dalaney.
975 points, ended June 3, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i agree with the kiwi. very romantic. i like the use of 'collide' with cloud imagery, rain therefrom. -meterologicalfish
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Sigh.. how beautifully romantic!! To feel complete with someone can usually only be achieved when we feel whole ourselves, and the meeting of two whole beings is the most beautiful thing in the world.
The imagery and descriptions in this are truely stunning!
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I adore the last two lines. I think it sums up the rest of the piece. Beautiful words. Good luck in the contest.
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Just fabulous..
The final 2 lines, "and I am only with you" seem to downplay the rest of the poem but also reveal its significance at the same time...very clever.
"raining briefly when we collide"
Ooh, one of my favorite bits in this poem..
"and colours that remain untouched
reminding us how to be complete"
Nice.
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