Yesterdays crumbs,
still laying on plates,
a lazy little bum...
stayed up way late.
More chores for tomorrow,
now piled on my list.
To think brings me sorrow,
yet, your contest insists!
Dirty clothes,
lay on the floor.
A lawn to mow...
need I say more?
I followed directions,
as you said, closed my eyes.
What flashes and reflections,
what I saw made me cry!
Now, you got your wishes,
did you see what I saw?
I'm going to do dishes,
but, I vow~that is all!
A contest entry
- Close your eyes and tell me what you see by Meroza.
400 points, ended June 18, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Some things seem to carry a longer 'after-image' when we close our eyes, don't they? Now you've got me frightened to close mine!! (How is it that chores don't just "go away" when we close our eyes to their existence???) Yes, I see what you saw *sigh*
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Haha, what an amazingly good written poem! I enjoyed this a lot. Good work!
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I like it...
I don't need to close my eyes to see that! My floor is covered in crap and it is on my list to do...
A great poem by the way, I love the simplistic form of rhyme. The short words. You see so many poets rhyming the long words they read off their word a day bog roll and as I say to my class in literacy. Whats the point of spelling all the big words when you miss the small ones. The same applies here. Whats the point of rhyming the big words when you cant rhyme the small ones!! But you did and it flows off your tongue. Thank you for this...
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thank you so much
well, the dishes are done, is your floor clean yet?
Sassy
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