white panels
painted on Sunday afternoon
beneath hot summer sun
with sips of lemonade
freshen lazy mornings
sunrise captures tomorrow's glint
pressed neatly in its grain
first kisses leaned against its slats
graying remains of pocketknife etchings
hearts and arrows spilling eternal love
she said she would wait
and days lifted into white gowns and yellow roses
her name still fresh on my lips
fills gaps with linen ridges
hushing quiet lullabies before lights dim
spring gardens wake
scenting her roses with October blooms
Author notes
Prompt: Time
A contest entry
- passing seasons by Nicolette.
2000 points, ended June 27, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This paints a picture-perfect essence of time...
what it changes and what it can not.
"and days lifted into white gowns and yellow roses"
is exceptionally captivating to me.
I am mesmerized by the vision of pure linen and
cascading roses ushering in the morning.
Brilliant writing, I did not stutter once in the
flow of this...that shows true ability on your part.
Blue
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I like how this poem moves from lazy to fresh in the first part of the poem. You’ve captured some wonderful images here, especially “sunrise captures tomorrow’s glint pressed nearly in its grain” – that’s a wonderful line/image – as well as the next stanza.
I also liked the sense of passing time here, the progression from summer through “white gowns and yellow roses” to spring. A very lovely way to paint the seasons - overall a lovely poem with good application of poetic device, like personification, etc. I enjoyed this – thank you for your entry.
~ Nicolette
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I like the images in this write. Beautifully done. Painting a wonderful picture. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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Really wonderful images in this write. One right after the other. If I had to pick a favorite section..hard pressed..it would be:
first kisses leaned against its slats
graying remains of pocketknife etchings
hearts and arrows spilling eternal love
but only by a hairsbreath...every line is amazing.
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Simply sensational!!!! A poem one could read again and again !!!!! enjoying each time the same or more!
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Oh my,
very beautiful piece of poetry indeed
Splendid flow and imagery that's so vivid.
I really enjoyed this write MAGNIFICIENCE!!!
Best of wishes to you
Tony
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I hate to be redundant here but, again, your writes contain such softness and serenity. Very pretty take on this prompt.
This sings,
"..and days lifted into white gowns and yellow roses.."
Paul
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such a wise and wistful sense to this poem, very quiet and expressive, a slow flow of time and seasons to make a past reflected in simple moments...beautiful poetry...PK
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