Cookie cutter
carbon copy
row on row
and mile for mile
a hundred shades of bland
my boyhood forest
imagination's breeding ground
now levelled off
forged into order
chaos rejected
slash and burn
bull dozer chain saw
hammer and nail
tree for board
stream for sewer
deer for dog
and cow for cat
shadow dappled trails of adventure
recast as streets paved grey and black
birds of prey seek new horizons
a new prey flits
through urban sprawl
moonlight dimmed by phosphorescence
field mice flee and house mice flourish
squirrels adapt to different trees
the fox surrenders to the hound
the bear to trashcan's subtle smell
horses only run for money
and they're off!
the triple crown
daylight darkened
smog's horizon
burns in shades of brown and orange
landfills grow
new fangled mountains
heap on heap
and pile for pile
fish become a pasttime pleasure
catch and release
not safe to eat
for fear of lead
And they call this progress
A contest entry
- Concrete Poetry by ronnica.
2300 points, ended June 16, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Asphalt by Danna Hobart.
400 points, ended November 13, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very cleverly done. I liked the shape so fitting with the flow and the topic, with really hard hitting words. Congratulations on the well earned trophy.
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Nicely done.
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It is not quite what I expected of concrete poetry but I will accept it in the tone of urbane sprawl,
well thought out,
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The Decline of Civilization ...
and I rejoice. Not too far to go now, and we will be Home.
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As Jim Morrison screamed like Walt Whitman and now this fine piece by you.....What Have They Done To the Earth!!
[business men they drink my wine,
come and dig my earth].
These timeless statements now are joined by a poet that shares all good people who really don't want to live on mars.... this piece can be a testament to our complete utter disregard for our planet..
You have a distinct style...much like Kerouac.. you have a secession of articulate thoughts that are woven together to make the piece have a sound...pleasant to the ear....i am glad i have found you.
You are a thinking mans poet...which makes your kind comments on my work all the more valued.
I shall read more my brother.
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Superb
A most excellent write and question, indeed. I'm glad you shared this one with us. Hope you have a good day my friend. Have you read my poem: "Olde Seattle's Epitaph"? Here's a link:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3516496 -
9 of 10
i see what you mean by:
"forged into order
chaos rejected"
but I see it as creating chaos in nature to make "progress". maybe if you put " around chaos to imply it as it being thought as chaos, but it now is chaos instead.
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Sad and powerful. I've read a many poems today and this, by far, is the best yet. Infact best I've read on AP for quite a while.
It works on many levels. It works on a 'society' level, with the urbanisation of land, on a 'personal' level, with your childhood bushland 'slash and burn(t)' and it works on an 'emotional' level, particularly with the animals.
For a tech junkie like myself, I think the world requires a new technology. As the steam engine, the wheel, flight etc opened up the world in extraordinary ways, I think we need a new 'boom'... in the field of energy. Once we solve our energy issues, we can work on leaving the land as is and working around it. (and maybe cleaning up our past).
Sorry.. ranted a little. Great poem. -
Very well said. Every where I go, I see the blight of urban sprawl. It saddens me. All done in the name of progress. Neighborhoods have disappeared and people live in grotesque monstrosities on 10 acre spagetti shaped lots.
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