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Overthrow

They all thought the same thing
I could hear their whispering judgements
whenever they looked at me
"Aww look at the daddy's girl"
ugh....I have to change....
This little blue dress always hid my psychotic anticipation
My long brown curls made them think I wasn't strong
Tear that stupid dress
Slice the damn curls
No longer brown
but blood red
What will they think now?
Why should I care?
I can no longer hear them
I'm on top of the world 
And the music up here is to loud
No one can touch me
To bad they couldn't see through my facade
Maybe they could have prevented
my over throw of humanity
Haha
Now they look at me again
"What happened to her?"
They think its a loss of innocence
But they have no idea
It never was truly there

Author notes

1

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • your angers a gift
    February 19
    Edit | Reply
    very nicely put! Good write. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • charmander13
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is tres beautiful! I love the spunk, grit and fervour of this piece...and everything just ties together at the end... You've got a strong voice and keep the spirit, girl


  • InfiniteCaitlin
    June 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea that you are building upon but this piece is a little sloppy. it's not really written in a poetic form, in my opinion, it is more like run on sentences. You should work on your transitions from one line to the next. Because for me reading this through it felt at the end of each line was a road block that made it hard to get to the next. You use good images though So I would suggest to emphasize more on them. Maybe with more description. Nice take on the option.


    • romanticlyhopeless
      June 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you
      and i understand and agree
      sometimes i tend to run on when i write
      i shall work on this


      -jessi


  • realism-vs-romance
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. is this supposed to be about you? seems like it. i like it. can i steal it?


  • sad brown eyes
    June 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amaz- zah -zing.it was really cool.and it fits you oh so well!!!

1 - 9 of 9