I did not take this small wonder
and stitch its moth-wings silent --
no;
I tended the miraculous growth
like a devoted thumb,
did not question objective
or the duration of a yellow-tongued lily;
puerile in anticipation.
I was stubbed;
have become a fine piece of plumbing:
severed at source; strained angles
and I drip --
convinced this zip is another's
schadenfreude; a caveat
not to breach boundaries
with one's mouth.
Author notes
Can't keep a good woman from speaking her mind; not forever.
If anyone wants to help with my ending, feel free!
A contest entry
- Intensity by notallowedtocry.
750 points, ended June 3, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I know it's mediocre.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Mediocre. Hardly. Maybe you don't realize this, but you have a hell of a talent for putting words together and creating wonderful images and metaphors.
This is fresh, real, edgy, and unique. Your work is so YOU and you are fantastic. I would love to see the world through your eyes, think your thoughts, and write your words. Especially your words. I envy your talent.
A good woman will speak her mind and a smart man will listen.
If you consider poetry like this speaking your mind, then by all means speak your mind! We'll all be listening.
Garrison
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this piece is extraordinarily good, and makes me feel all glockenspiel inside
ve haff vays of making you talk, you know
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Don't change a thing!
I'm with Nicolette, your vocabulary is astounding and your talent humanly-astute, you are going to be famous one day, I know it.
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As a girl I can relate to the intense feelings expressed in this poem. I think that it is an amazing write. Well Done and Good luck XxX
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Never EVER let anyone prevent you from speaking your mind, girl!!! I can't imagine that anyone can but..just for the record!
You have too strong and authentic a voice, especially the poetic one. This is one medium of communication that you've mastered at your young age and I almost shudder to think the heights you'll still reach
This is a wonderful poem and you always amaze me with your metaphors, the impact of your writing and of course your vocabulary. You just keep on talking just like THIS. It's perfect as it is.
~ Nicolette
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You gots the voice! Yep.
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i think i've been guilty of a little schadenfreude myself...lol love the language here, and its wonderful voice... i like the ending too
al
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