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After Certain Words are Uttered

Whispers become echoes
fluttering against light
and falling,
                  like rain.


Staying briefly in puddles

only to soak through

to deeper levels,

Those faint words,

s ki  tte ri  n g


lightly over floorboards,
like a spider escaping doom,
will reverberate,

like a bell, when least expected,
                                    and when most.

After the sounds die in the air,
and all that makes noise
is the sun creaking through its path,
golden motes hang


              -suspended-

just for a intake
of breath, 

 

time STOPs,


then


it is splintered once more,
into seconds, moments, hours...


days...  
            not yet.

Author notes

Inspired by a contest, but I didn't feel it really fit the prompt as they wanted.

Basically about how I felt after certain words have been said to me in various points in my life.

Feel free to be honest, all writing is an exercise to improving.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • I think you did a great job with this. Letting your feelings flow. Words can be a wonderful sound to hear but then again, there are some that will tear you apart and bring you to your knees...either from the joy of them or the despair they have presented to you.. I love when people just write what they are feeling at that particular time..it becomes the reality of who they are..
    Soulful Woman

    . Rewarded 8

  • This really is beautiful (and I'm no good at commenting)


  • LadyUnique silver member
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    i really admire this
    for me it works two ways. when something is said that hurts it never really is forgotten. when something is said for your own good (that you of course don't want to hear) it sometimes takes a while to sink in until you have a lightbulb moment
    your poem managed to pull a couple of decent lines out of me and i appreciate that
    good play with 'skittering'. i was able to see the start and stop of thought. now that's a hard one to pin down

    • Exactly - I didn't want to limit to it one kind of statement, but try to encompass various moments in life where I have thought about what was said and had a realization after

  • zochit2me gold member
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you are playing with formats. This entire poem had a fluttering effect on me.
    That first stanza set the tone and feel for the entire poem and what a poem it is...

    Fantastic!!



    You have come back after your absence, stronger with a lighter more delicate voice...
    I am enjoying the new found voice that has emerged.

    Becky

    • Thanks, I am really trying to hone my muse a bit. I'm glad you see changes

  • Amera gold member
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good! Your free verse is fantastic! As I read it my mind all of a sudden goes; "Oh wow! I get it!" Bravo!
    BTW; your avatar? Nice leg!

    Love,
    Amera♥

1 - 8 of 8