Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

You Now Must Die

 

 

a petty song, for the petty soul

skin like milk, mind like coal

frail and small, bent and broke

the gift i gave, now revoked.

 

 

a price you pay, for what you were

more than needed, just glamour.

a token of love, payed with flesh

a dress you wore of black digress.

 

so fold your hands, across your breast

the time you used, i'm not impressed.

it was all in vain, just for the eye

i feel no sorrow, you now must die

 

 



 

Author notes

Artist Credit:
Dark Angel of Death by *SAB687
http://sab687.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Angel-Of-Death-36879725

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • falling1isfatal2
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it, I tend to like the darker side of beauty and to me you have penned beauty here. It is thought-provoking, very well rhymed beauty... good luck


  • Elle Kaye
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Flawless rhyme and rhythem. Fantasti write, and really thought provoking. Really makes one thing. Nice job, i enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing and keep on penning.


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely flowing rhyme. I like this poem. It speaks to the old saying - Beauty is skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very impressive write The rhyme was realy good and the flow so smoothe.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Mmmm.... good. I give it three bunnies.


  • mamajoey
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well writ. I take it as she squandered her endless beauty to get what she wanted, and nothing worth anything.


  • SuicidalLover
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah....beauty not used for a purpose...nice. Makes me think of people who have power, but doesn't use it very well. Thanks for entering.
    ~Kystal angel


  • 245Trioxin
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "a dress you wore of black digress." that's just the sort of thing I expect from you. Clever disguises.

    You'll never be lost in the company of dictionaries, thesauruses, ink and paper.


  • Nothing But No
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The flow was marvellous, and it went perfectly with the picture.

    "a petty song, for the petty soul

    skin like milk, mind like coal"

    Simple amazing. All my best in the contest you've entered.

    -Rodwen

1 - 9 of 9