Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Deck-Chair


The deck chair spat back
as it folded on fingers
and thumb.
I cursed it
with grim ill humour.
“Inanimate object” - a joke.
It flapped its canvas
like a bird of prey
collapsed and
smiled in its own way.

Author notes

word chosen: collapse

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • poets whisper gold member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOL ... I know this isn't quite the same, but once when at the beach, I was sitting in one of those low beach chairs and then tried to use the umbrella to pull myself up. The entire thing collapsed over and around me making a laughingstock. My friends did nothing to help ... just stood around and laughed.
    It was very funny and I wanted to curse also.


  • trekkergirl
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh this is cute. I mean a folding chair who would have thought right? Good creative write. And to be honest when I clicked on the poem link and saw the color I woke up instantly. I mean I was rather tired after having worked all night. Then I saw this bright color and went wow!


  • HpWICKEDangel
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a bit strange. but in a way it was has humor. and we all say this as our fingers get pinched.

  • piccola
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the word didn't remind me of a lawn chair but I'm glad that it struck you that way. Very enjoyable read. What's with the bright green background? It reflects on my keyboard and I see spots. Or am I just seeing spots?


    • quantumsurveyor
      October 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I think we have this UK/US language problem here. Deck chair is a canvas and folding wood chair used at the beach here - or wherever you want. The green was to reflect the sun of the canvas - heehee. It is ghastly is it not? Sorry for your eyes - just close them it is so restful!!!!


  • toomysterious
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the HM I love what you have done with the word, forming such a wonderful mental picture. I, too, enjoy playing with words and this was delightful to read. I like to browse the poetry of those who leave comments on my poems. It is a great way to expand my choices of reading material, make friends and gain inspiration. This has been a most enjoyable trip.


  • arafura
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    They are vicious critters with a mind and a will of their own! I love the way you have crafted this. Excellent!


  • David. Enjoy.
    June 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what it is about this that makes the day cloudier, and thus so much better. I like the restriction on rhyming, but its presentation seems less intentional, which is good. The only complaint some miht have is that its meaning isn't straightforward if they're not aware of the Wonderland-ish quality of the piece. It's nonsense, which isn't necessarily abstracting the term. So, I can't really decide if you fit the prompt. Doesn't man I don't like the work.

    Thanks for entering.


  • storiesuntold
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great piece

    To read your work is to view the object right before you .


  • Cynthia Gaines
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    You should paint this scene...


    • quantumsurveyor
      June 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It would have speech balloons from me, saying, "Oh, dash it, this abstract, inanimate object has just sliced my finger off, I shall have to give it a slap!"

1 - 11 of 11