grass shoots--
a mushroom lies
on its side
A contest entry
- Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended June 6, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
which season does this depict?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is how it should be done.
qt
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Excellent
A rather cool write, I love the imagery you've created in this one. I can almost visualize the scene. Again, very well done.
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hmmm... What an excellent thought on nature. I love the word-play in this one. Nice little image here... And great first thoughts -
Excellent write, through and through
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grass shoots--
a mushroom lies
on its side
Very nice haiku, a close up look at the grass and the fallen mushroom. I am enjoying the other's comments, it could have multiple meanings within it. Thank you for a thought provoking haiku.
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Very concise image. Don't need a dictionary for this one. Nice.
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I really like this haiku. When I was real young, feels like a hundred years ago, my uncle would sit on the front steps of our farm house and shoot mushrooms in the field with a bee-bee gun. I must tell you they didn't just lie on their sides...they were totally obliterated. I like your shots better. Good luck in the contest.
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The first line could be looked at in two different ways I think, the literal sense and then shoots as in shoots to the sky with growth, that is the immediate thought that came into my mind. Do mushrooms lie! Perhaps they do, especially those of the magical variety, for they indeed lie, they alter the mind’s perception with their power, then again I think you are being more simplistic with the meaning as in it is pushed to its side as you then actually say that in the final line of this haiku form. Each word holds an impact to the reader, a small boulder of poetry that is rolled into the reader’s eye as it passes along the colour hidden within the poem’s lines. Nothing is ever truly black and white.
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bravo!
heheehee. so cute. so perfect, so simple
well done.
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when's the mushroom's funeral?
lol, i really love this. different and compact. i like the use of mushroom too, it gives me the image of a shielded soldier, and the grass shoots that of a spear.
how such a thin fragment of nature can be deadly..
have you eaten the mushy yet?
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