i want to watch the world come apart
and see it float off into space
as the dawn just broke my heart
soon the night will kill my grace
i want to build a silver rocket
and aim it at the moon
set the code and lock it!
while i sing a happy tune
i want to watch the world shatter
into burning, broken shards
because it no longer matters
if it doesn't match my heart
Author notes
wait .. i'm pouting ... lol ha ha ha
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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oooh yayyy I found one i missed, and u missed one i missed did u no? lol And what a little gem it is, have you been holding this back? This has such a mixture of yummy goodness in it we start with the sorrowful undertones at the beginning as the dawn just broke my heart so the night will kill my grace and i can think of nothing sdder than a new day breaking ones heart, how utterly dissapointing. and then onwards to the second verse (which is my personal favourite, and just so you, kind of funny but not, deliciously dry , the idea of you singing ure happy tune oblivious, Im lovin it, even though the idea is scary, ure not one bit scared, its kinda liberating. and then we move back to the vulnerability and fragility that you do so very well, with the closing lines it no longer matters if it doesn't match my heart just completely breathtakingly achingly mindblowing the imagery you use here is emotional imagery, in the sense that you made me actually feel real tangiable raw gut emotion thats a rare quality in a poem but then.... you are the master ...right? nicely done my friend in poetry
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a good poem though the moving picture was a distraction to my eyes when reading
i had ot lower the page so that was not in view when i read
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i love this... vivid images flooding my mind...a quiet rage just beneath the surface...makes me want to tear up a phone book or something.lol and the ending is so wonderful...to me, the "crash" point..i hope this makes sense..lol really dig this write....well done
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have some clappys
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this is beautiful huni, so very good,
your a very good poet, i love the rhymeing,
and just the way the poem is layed out,
all my love,
kitty
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what an amazing write you have here..... can i come with you.... hehe
thanks for sharing this write.... i really do like this alot.....! -
you are amazing once agian you have wrote a beautiful poem i really like it, and i love the comparision you have used here with the world and your heart; this poem is really deep, as always keep up the wonderful writing,~Amy
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