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In August they met







One moribund petal
  crushed unknowingly
  ~a soft kissing
    ripping clouds
    to shower sapphire drops~

Posing embrace
  they shiver.


    ~strangers forever~






 

Author notes

Its a bit cliched but its been long...

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • Judith Chandler
    February 2

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    "strangers forever". They certainly would be. Sad but in a gentle sort of way, a comment on separations in nature.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    Well, this is just full of little gems. First, in retrospect... what a perfect title. In my part of the world, anyway, August is the last month of summer, at the end of which you may even see leaves begin to fall. So the title here, for me, foreshadows the end of something good. This is true also with the introductory image of the moribund petal. I loved the contrast of connotation of those two words. Something delicate, lovely, destined for death. Its true to nature, and yet there is a sadness in the contrast. Again, an amazing contrast with the "soft" kiss "ripping" the clouds... it come across as ironic, but serves to yet again foreshadow what is to come in the relationship.

    To me, this was the best line of the poem: "Posing embrace"-- wow! that word posing was so telling. It brought this whole new sense of shallowness to the piece. Made me wonder if this was something they wanted to "try" for lack of better opportunities, or maybe they cared, but had intimacy issues... I mean the possibilities of why they might be "posing" are endless, and you allow the reader to fill in the "why" according to their own experience.

    It is no wonder they remain strangers. Theirs was a relationship at its end before it began it seems. It began in distance, in feigned intimacy. Strangers indeed.

    Wonderfully done, pri!

    ten ;f

    • phoenixonfire
      January 26
      Edit | Reply
      wow! that was really insightful u know! Thanks a bunch for the warm and giving comment!!

      Pri
  • Rajaram
    June 4, 2008

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    Wonderful write. Great imagination and excellent poem written with precision. Keep feeling great. I would be happy, if you could spare some time to stamp your impressions on my poems.

  • night-eyed demon
    June 1, 2008
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    I like it. good write

  • Lavender Butterfly gold member
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very expressive and detailed... x

  • sailor ptolema
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOVE this!

1 - 11 of 11