Up in a Cadillac
Back down in a Volvo
I sneak a peek at her
Luscious Jackson CD collection,
and have an instantaneous daydream
Flashback, the Bangles on UHF in 1984
I am a bad boy’s foot away from the TV set
Cross legged & pop brunette hypnotized.
Am I witnessing those long awaited bunting
baby steps towards my very own puberty
I can feel a change hanging around here
Giving me its dizzy breakneck nods
Happily tucking me in at random
Whether I like it, or not.
Yes, I thought, yes… I will walk like an
Egyptian for you my sweet Miss Cleo, but for
now, count the barren hills rolling past.
While I recline & pray for the cooling waves of
Santa Barbara. Those redolent grapes of her
bosom to start pouring through my drunk
wet mouth. Crashing through with harsh language
Intolerably silent fingers inching forward
Eye-balling that leg, that pouty fucking mouth
Those breasts rocking up, and out, soft heaving
Dancing to that curving smooth asphalt heat
I know is lurking below us. An inorganic
voyeur to her bounty of sex appeal
While my defense mechanism
is a narcoleptic's daily excuse.
"Stop it." I whisper.
Just stop please, my head…"
"What?" She says.
"Oh look, there’s been an accident, look at that?"
She motions with a toss of her neck, head, hair
"You were asleep and mumbling."
She states, flirting & mostly curious.
"Sorry", I reply, doing my best to avoid her eyes
An awkward silence accentuates the moment
"You don't remember me, do you?" She asks
Giggling nervously at my lost, panic-stricken, gaze
"I answered your ad in the Pennysaver… Silly?
The one that said, “"you fly, and I’ll buy!?""
For the wine tasting festival?
You said that your license
was suspended, and your vehicle impounded
You really don't remember me, do you?
You’re not some weirdo, or anything,
are you?"
I can tell that she’s a bit put off that a man
Could forget her that quickly and efficiently
Without even having met her parents,
or sleeping with her.
“Maybe, you need to see a specialist
Is there some kind of medicine you could take?"
But it’s too late.
She is fading out again fast.
I stare off, regretfully,
seduced by the violence of the head on collision
Compelled by the flickering flashes of reds,
and blues chasing away yellows
Trying to find some eye contact
Something remote, and godless
About our hands, and the faces.
"We are all just victims of momentum."
I mumble, "passengers".
Author notes
My summer as a narcoloeptic.
Written December 27th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Brokeback Mountain by Rebel Rebel.
321 points, ended April 20, 2006, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Interesting.
Thank you for entering this in the Brokeback Mountain Contest. Always good to read poems by you. Cars never interest me. I walk only. And accidents do not amuse me. -
very nice write from start to finish great poem for the rich and famous to post on their show .. great post here lol Linda
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Wow. That was great. It really kept my attention because it was so interesting. This is definitely not the same as everything else on this site. Great job!
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I can feel a change hanging around here
Giving me its dizzy breakneck nods
Happily tucking me in at random
Whether I like it, or not.
look at that, george, genius......
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you are Free style, no matter what happens in this contest you are The free style.
Great write, and good luck,
jonny -
I don't know why but I really liked these lines :
'I can tell that she’s a bit put off that a man
Could forget her that quickly and efficiently.
Without even having met her parents,
or sleeping with her.'
I guess because i find it a bit optimistic for us, the ordinary girls
!! Apart from this part I also liked :
'We are all just victims of momentum."
I mumble, "passengers".'
excellent ending!! well done
HBH -
I'm extremely sorry to be a pain but as this contest isn't accepting stories I am closing it and then reopening it. there is a poetry contest on my page if you would prefer to enter that. Thanks
Shari -
I agree I agree we are all just victims of the momentum is a wicked line. This poem is a fast-paced in and out story from the perspective of a tripped out mind...I really like it, very unique and clever...it might not fit the contest correctly but it definately kicks ass.
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"We are all just victims of momentum."
I mumble, "passengers."
i loved those lines. pretty good piece. thanks for entering.
Christina -
This is really good, nice free verse, many complex emotions/ I like it. thanks for sharing, take care and God Bless!
sincerely,
*silver* -
But that is excellent. I love poetry about cars and how they distort our lives irrevocably and absolutely. Of course this is about more than that, and innocence and baggy waggy panda twinkies. Yep.
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yu chained me up and nipple clamped me to the dodge.
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loving it
i live in palos verdes so i really liked your mentions of SB and bakersfield, :-P that aside, i think everyone else said it all. you really captivated me. -
Cool, I'm going to enter a new poem,a vulgar poem I believe of the highest order.
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Well thank you sir, for entering our first contest. We are virgins no longer. Every poem that enters gets the full attention of both cvillelisa and plinkyponk, fawning over it, looking at it straight on, stripping it down bare, measuring it's abilities. Best of luck to you and as we feel it is important that all of our entries feel special
.
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what can i say another masterpiece plus its you getting in a car what more could anyone ask is there a bullet hole in the glass plus is that a wriggly black worm on your trousers or do i just have worms on the brain.
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REM inducing
I gotta hand it to you - you're some kind of master with the free verse storyfast forwardwhat the hell did I miss/rewind kind of of verse.
This MUST be a revolution and I'm glad I took the ride.
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Huh...? You might be right. aliens.
Edited on Jan 03, 4:50 p.m. because 'edited by AnnD Moderator to remove profanity'. -
Wow. Intensity of complex emotions, penned down as if it is the easiest thing in the world. What an ability you've got! You are a dramatic writer, and I really see the scriptwriter in your work ... This write is highly techno-cut and tactile.
I am positively sure that you do not have to use your imagination ...
It uses you. 
Hugs.
Myra -
I am like Maureen
The line
We are all just victims of momentum grabbed me
Very different and unique that's why I liked it
Went to one of your websites and heard your music cdbaby
Very nice
BTW Nice to meet ya
Come by and see me too
Blessings
Susan~~~~ -
"We are all just victims of momentum" Time moves at breathneck speed, sweeping us along, caught in the whirlwind.
Interesting story/poem! You have a unique way of expressing yourself...it takes some getting used to.
Maureen
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I like it.... not my type but i enjoyed it.. check out some of my poems!
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