Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Downstream

dilapidated bones of
calcium aware
encrypted creek
ensemble

flowing freely
down spun
swept up in the clean
of dreaming downstream

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • sailor ptolema
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    bravo!

    very cool! I like this, good take on the picture!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohh very dark.. I don't see a stream in the picture, but I like the language you've used here.. starts our spooky, then ends up kinda dreamy


  • cheaphotelsign
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a fantastic, outstanding mind bender...tricky trip through the brain and the lip...dig this one...excellence!


  • notorious gold member
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    You're too clever..

    "calcium aware"
    Oh, you're too clever. I love this.

    "encrypted creek"
    Another nice phrase...how the hell are you managing to concoct so many?

    "swept up in the clean
    of dreaming downstream"
    Nice alliteration-esque effect in the last line...

    I'd give this Gold, for sure. =)


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lucid

    Thanks for sharing with us.


  • OnceUponAMind silver member
    May 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this feels eerie and achingly dark like tha pic! "Dilapidated bones of calcium aware" Ha! Nice work Best of luck!

1 - 6 of 6