Cross Road

There are times when you meet somebody
and you know they are special.
You were that someone to me.

When you looked at me and I saw you smile
your eyes lit up like flares in the night.
I was enthralled and quickly fell in love.
That first day we spent talking
about everything, there was nothing
I could hide. Nothing I wanted to hide.

You accepted me for who I was
and when we shared our dreams
and we saw we could touch them together
my heart began to dance in a way
never felt before.

This was the finest moment of my life.
That day true love grew between you and I.
As time past we grew together
and love grew stronger.

Everyday seemed like a sun rise
and we were walking towards it.
I proposed to you and you said yes
I can still see those streams of joy
rolling down your lovely face.

We had no idea of how life throws curves.
How the end grew within you and you did not know.
Then the lump and then another.
The tests and examinations.
The doctors telling us the cancer
was in the bone.

I remember that day when your cried in my arms
your tiny body shaking, my shoulder wet
with your tears. I wished I could have
been strong, but I cried to. We trembled
as we held each other tight.
Tighter than we ever held before.

I stood with her bed side
watching as she faded
knowing there was nothing
I could do, but try and make
her more comfortable.

The day you died I stopped talking to God.
My world faded to gray.
A part of me died with you.

I drowned myself in whiskey songs afterwards
and when the pain was still there I would fight
just to feel a different kind of pain.

At my end I stood on the bridge we walked
the wide Columbia black below.
I was ready to let myself go.

In my drunken stupor it somehow occurred to me
that this would not be what you wanted
and I felt a tinge of your love.
Just like when you were alive.

I climbed off that rail and walked home
For the first time in a long time
I could understand just enough.