You peer past my heart and into my eyes, from there you see my soul
Shrouded is my soul from others,
Yet that is what you see.
You see aches and faults in this soul of mine,
And you look past that.
My soul wears a veil, a solid one at that.
Nobody can see past that.
But when you look into my soul, it is as if I were made of crystallized water.
Smooth, hand-blown glass.
Windows to my soul.
You see all the going-ons,
All the things I do.
You see every tear my soul cries,
And you see ever time my heart jumps.
It is always joyful to see you
It hides itself from all others.
You're the only one who knows me
The only one who knows my soul.
It leaps and dances upon seeing you,
And you see that.
But by the time that you will leave me,
The crystal shall shatter.
And the shards will pierce my heart.
And I, the soul, and the heart will weep.
Weeping only for you,
Mourning the loss of you.
And we, the soul, the heart, and I, we hope that you will return.
And the soul will rebuild itself again.
Author notes
Something I threw together in the practice section...
A contest entry
- anything goes!! by ShaddowsDarkened.
430 points, ended June 30, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tied My Hands by A.N. Divine.
550 points, ended July 13, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into Gold pt 9 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended October 18, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is really good, captures some of the vulnerability love opens you up to. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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I'm not really sure what this is saying, or what its about exactly. If you could maybe enlighten me on the subject that'd help me understand this a little better.
You have a lot of talent with imagery, and I like your mood.
C.Comatose -
i love this. explains alot.
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How so? Explains what?
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it explains what love means to you.
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Right. Thanks! I really appreciate it!
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you don't have to listen to what i say. just as long as ya listen to ya self. like i said dont listen to me.
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amazing
this is a really well written poem. I really liked reading it, you used personification which i liked, making the soul seem like something that could move and do things, it added more structure and made the poem a lot more powerful.
my favourite lines are:
But by the time that you will leave me,
The crystal shall shatter.
And the shards will pierce my heart.
And I, the soul, and the heart will weep.
Weeping only for you,
Mourning the loss of you.
Within them they seemed to capture such deep feelings that they drew me too them, i like them a lot, i think that part of the poem is the strongest. however, i do like the ending lines a lot as well.
good luck in the contest,
keep writing,
holly x
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