now her eyes are closed
'cause she doesn't want to see
the wind is howling in the streets
she can't hear it anymore
everything turns black
and no one wants to see...
she doesn't care anymore
'cause all by herself
she's living in [t]his world
where memory fades away
and no one's there to ask
girl, where have you been
and she will live
for the first time
she cowers in a corner
hiding from the world
where love does not exist
the wind is howling in the streets
she can't hear it anymore
everything turns black
and no one wants to see...
A contest entry
- " PREWRITES ONLY" by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended June 7, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From May 2008 by amaranthine lover.
900 points, ended July 1, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1712 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Written on this Date... by xxRainbowDawnxx.
625 points, ended March 23, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Really good work, reminds me of some poems you and I each have written.
Line 12: "she's living in [t]his world" ?
Really touching this work, I had to think of homeless people and us when we are down, and all these ignorant folks...
You write a lot of poems like this these days, don't you?
Sounds a bit like the others I have read in the last days.
Maybe you should collect them and call the collection, "The world and me" or "Dark Ages" or something like that, just a suggestion.
Keep on writing - I'm keeping on!
Jo
-
-
"Dark Ages" sounds like Age of Empires.
(sorry)
-
-
I know das is ja auch so ne art bezeichnung fuer irgendwas ums mittelalter rum oder so, wuerde nur passen. just a suggestion!
-
-
Read Auri's comment... It was a typo, supposed to be "this" but Auri loved it the way it is, so I decided not to change it.
-
-
an interesting write thanks for entering
-
People can be so blind and walk by others without knowing or feeling their pain inside. What a heartfelt write with such pain and sadness. Amazing imagery and emotions. I so enjoyed reading. Good luck in the contest. Love you Mom
-
This is a very well written piece and kept well in line with the Title.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest
-
great write lil cuz
xxx cheeky xxx
-
LOVE
Wow this was great!!! I haven't been on here forever, but the title of this poem definitely caught my eye, and it didn't disappoint me!! Is it possible that this is your first ever love poem, Ann? Or have I just not been keeping up? Either way, it's amazing! I love the melancholy of it, it makes it even more beautiful than if it were only a regular love poem^^
My favorite line: "she's living in his world"
By the way, is the missing 's' in "no one wantS to see" on purpose?
And I would suggest replacing "moaning" by "howling" or something like that, cuzz "moaning" has... a connotation if you catch my drift^^
Absolutely lovely.
xx
-
-
umm... I get what you mean, didn't think of that at all when I was writing this poem. (I was thinking of "and the wind begins to moan" from "Memory" (Cats) )
It was actually supposed to be "this world" but "his world" gave the poem an entirely new direction which I didn't even notice...
to be 100% honest, I didn't even write a "love poem", it just turned out to be like that.
Been writing about the Holocaust and stuff like that for the past few months... So, no love poems...
Annie
-
-
Aye, no one wants to see because no one wants to help, do doubt.
'Tis a shocking world we live in with every sort of need right in front of us. If one could sign up to receive a love distribution, the list would be very long, indeed. 
A beautiful poem, most truly.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
